Partner Differences in Preferred Sleeping Temperature
Differences in how much and when two people feel warm or cold may be part of the chemistry that draws couples together. But those differences can be quite a problem when a couple shares a bed.
Let's say she often feels cold, that her hands, feet, face, and whole body are often cold, even painfully so, particularly in winter. (In the interviews I did for my Two in a Bed book, in heterosexual couples the woman was three times more likely than the man to be the colder one.) As they first get to know each other she may be drawn to his warmth, not only feeling romantically drawn to him but also delighted to have his warm hands holding her cold hands, his warm cheek against her too-cold cheek, and the warmth of his body diffusing into her body as they cuddle. And he may love it that she so enjoys being touched by him. But when they become a bed-sharing couple, they may have big conflicts regarding the temperature in the bed and the bedroom. Temperatures that feel comfortable to her may feel suffocating to him. Temperatures that feel comfortable to him may feel painfully cold to her, so cold that she aches and feels numb. What can they do?
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Let's say she often feels cold, that her hands, feet, face, and whole body are often cold, even painfully so, particularly in winter. (In the interviews I did for my Two in a Bed book, in heterosexual couples the woman was three times more likely than the man to be the colder one.) As they first get to know each other she may be drawn to his warmth, not only feeling romantically drawn to him but also delighted to have his warm hands holding her cold hands, his warm cheek against her too-cold cheek, and the warmth of his body diffusing into her body as they cuddle. And he may love it that she so enjoys being touched by him. But when they become a bed-sharing couple, they may have big conflicts regarding the temperature in the bed and the bedroom. Temperatures that feel comfortable to her may feel suffocating to him. Temperatures that feel comfortable to him may feel painfully cold to her, so cold that she aches and feels numb. What can they do?
More...