As a Feminist, I Believe a Woman Can Be Miserable Whether She Is Childless or Not

Republican vice presidential candidate J. D. Vance’s claims that childless women are “miserable” is insulting not only to women without children but to mothers as well. As a feminist, I am offended by this narrow and paternalistic definition of misery, and I strongly believe that every woman can be miserable, whether or not she has children.

Sure, a woman could be miserable being childless. For example, maybe she wants to have children but experiences infertility or, for other reasons, needs to access reproductive technology but can’t afford to because Republicans, including Vance, voted down the Right to IVF Bill. Or maybe she’s childfree by choice but regrets it when she runs into a friend at the grocery store and can’t say that the back issues of Teen Vogue, Silly Strawberry–flavored toothpaste, and seven boxes of Froot Loops in her cart are for the kids.

However, a woman can just as easily be miserable if she is a mother. For example, she may not have wanted to have kids but was forced to by rulings from Republican-appointed judges that restrict or ban abortion. Or she may have felt compelled to have kids before she was ready, due to all four of her aunts constantly trying to set her up with every man they met, regardless of whether he was single, hospitalized, and/or currently on trial for insurance fraud.

And even if she is generally happy about being a parent, a mother may become despondent as she tries to do things like buy enough food to feed her kids if a Republican proposal to end free school lunch passes, try not to think about whether her child will get shot because Republicans won’t enact gun control measures, even for assault weapons, or talk to the other moms about which parents donated only two hundred dollars to the “optional” fundraiser for the Halloween carnival, while on four hours of sleep.

And whether or not she is a mother, if she’s pregnant and has a medical emergency, she may be turned away by doctors who are afraid they will be arrested for trying to save her life, thanks to executive orders from Republican governors. In that case, the family and friends that survive her can also be miserable.

The point is, there’s a long list of ways every woman can feel despair, no matter her circumstances. Maybe she is rewatching Parks and Rec and wondering what happened to Chris Pratt. Maybe she is listening to her favorite playlist but now has to skip every other song because so many singers are rapists. Maybe she wants to go anywhere in public and do anything at all. In this society, the possibilities for women’s misery are endless!

So it’s time men like Vance abandon their outdated, regressive ideas about women’s misery and realize that all women can be miserable, whether they are childless or not. And he should know this better than anyone—after all, his party’s policies and his own talking points make women’s lives, regardless of whether they have children, much more miserable.