Tom Brady made his Fox playoff broadcasting debut by sharing nonstop nonsense

Tom Brady’s first season as Fox’s lead NFL color commentator has, for the most part, been a disaster. The arguably greatest pro football player of all time has struggled to share genuine and engaging insight without sounding stilted and awkward. Throw in a controversy over Brady’s Las Vegas Raiders ownership and a potential conflict of interest as an announcer, and it’s clear he hasn’t helped himself much, either.

If you had hopes Brady would be sharper during the NFC Wild Card game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Green Bay Packers on Sunday, you were probably a tad too optimistic.

Because Brady, as many Bluesky users pointed out, laid an egg almost any time he got the cue to start analyzing a sequence.

For example, just listening to Brady makes it seem like he read a book of pro football cliches until he memorized them. I mean, it’s plausible, right?

In another instance, Brady also claimed the Eagles (not to be confused with the Philadelphia Phillies) love getting interceptions. That’s all he said. Wow, groundbreaking stuff. The defense loves to force takeaways? No way.

This was a consistent theme for a once-transcendent player and a now-mediocre announcer. If it sounded like Brady was reading off a teleprompter and a game script he hadn’t given a single preparative once-over, it’s because he probably was.

If it sounded like a condescending Brady expected the viewing audience at home to already understand what he was saying, it’s because he probably did.

Do you know what the worst news is here, dearest readers?

No matter what happens next in Brady’s announcing career, he will still call Super Bowl 59 in just a matter of weeks. That’s right. Millions of innocent fans who simply want competent announcing will get to hear Brady, once again, during the biggest American sporting event of the year (and for the entire NFC postseason, by the way).

Indeed. We’ll be hearing Brady’s voice for three-plus hours during the flagship football celebration of the entire calendar.

Oh, joyous day. How lucky are we?