Berczy's spiked teas don't really taste like tea, but still work out OK

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage (or food) that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

It was a little strange when Berczy waded into the hard seltzer market. This was a brand that prided itself on its London roots despite the fact that, well, why would we care about a London-based White Claw? It’s not like the British Isles are known for their commitment to fizzy water.

Tea, on the other hand? OK, that makes waaaaay more sense. I trust someone in Great Britain to know the hell out of what makes a good tea and how to booze it up properly.

That’s the Venn diagram in which Berczy is trying to land square in the middle. That’s a delicate balance, especially for a company whose seltzers were reasonable, but not great. Tea provides a softer backdrop capable of covering up some of the flaws laid bare by the brand’s uninspired flavors.

Does it work?

Lemon tea: C+

It pours with a stage whiskey color and little carbonation thanks to the promise of “gentle bubbles” on the can. It smells like lemon tea but there’s no denying the vodka lurking underneath. It’s not overpowering, but it’s more noticeable than your typical High Noon vodka soda. At 7 percent ABV, that makes sense.

The tea itself is sharp and tart. The lemon is a bit overpowering, coming off right from the first sip and lingering for a decent while after it’s cleared your throat. The tea is minimal; it’s a low current that staggers underneath but never really stands out on its own. The finish itself is a bit stale and dry, but nothing that would turn you away from it.

That leaves this stuck between sour lemonade and tea. It’s easy enough to drink and doesn’t feel especially boozy. There’s a bit of a disconnect since the lemon is so sharp, but it’s still fine.

You could crush a few of these at a tailgate, especially on a warm day. But if you’re looking for tea you may be disappointed.

Peach tea: B-

There’s way more fizz involved here, which makes me think maybe my lemon can was maybe a little more dinged up than I realized. The scent off the top is straight peach gummy rings with a solid iced tea imprint. On those merits alone, it seems like an easier sell than the lemon tea, which was decent but unusual. All I’d like from this is big, dumb sweet tea flavors and a decent supply of booze.

Once again the fruit flavor is the headliner on the first sip. The peach is easier to drink than the lemon, owing to its sweetness rather than a sour profile.

The bubbles leave little to snack on once you take a swig, but that’s a benefit with a tea rather than a bug. Toward the end of each sip you get a little bit of that vodka, but nothing close to a burn. Instead, it’s a soft reminder we’re dealing with adult iced tea.

That tea does clock in a little more notably than in the lemon flavor, even if it’s still not as obvious as I’d like. The sweetness of the peach leaves you with a sloppier finish than the dry lemon, but the aftertaste is minimal and fades quickly. It’s a little worse over ice — watering down that flavor, coincidentally, tends to bring out more of the vodka flavor — but again, it’s drinkable.

Would I drink it instead of a Hamm’s?

This is a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Berczy’s hard teas over a cold can of Hamm’s?

There’s something to be said about the extra booze here and how well Berczy covers it up. Their hard teas are a weird mix, but never an unpleasant one. I’d have one of these at a tailgate, sure. But I’d switch back to Hamm’s soon after.