Jake Paul easily defeats Mike Tyson in boxing’s latest farce

Mike Tyson had nothing to offer against Jake Paul in a sad event.

Jake Paul scored an easy win over 58-year-old Mike Tyson tonight in Texas, surprising nobody who didn’t go in with the delusion that Mike Tyson is anything near what he used to be.

Paul (11-1, 7 KO) won the farcical fight on scores of 79-73, 79-73, and 80-72, with the ancient Tyson (50-7, 44 KO) landing all of 18 punches in eight rounds according to CompuBox’s numbers.

Tyson — who does, indeed, have an official loss to Jake Paul on his real boxing record now — clearly had absolutely nothing from the opening bell, and by the third of the two-minute rounds, every ounce of energy had been sucked out of a packed AT&T Stadium as patrons came to terms with the reality of what they’d spent their real, actual money on.

That reality was that Tyson was too old and too athletically shot, despite the aesthetically great physique on the old man, and that Paul, who did rattle Tyson in the early rounds, probably sandbagged his own performance so that he didn’t do any serious damage.

The 27-year-old Paul demanded pre-fight that there be “no excuses” for when he “beat Mike Tyson,” but he did not beat Mike Tyson. He beat a man barely shy of 60, who hadn’t had a fight in nearly 20 years, and hadn’t been anything close to his prime self in closer to 30, before Paul was even born.

The truth of this sad event is that this was always going to be how it played out. Another truth is that it should never have been sanctioned, and another is that it should really never have happened in any form beyond something akin to Tyson’s for-entertainment-purposes exhibition with Roy Jones Jr in 2020, a night that left fans of both boxing legends pleased simply because they got a little show from old favorites.

This wasn’t that, and another reality is that Paul’s boxing career will go on, he will claim this as a significant victory and achievement, and he will keep saying world titles are in his future despite the fact that the only half-serious, actual professional boxer he’s faced to date is Tommy Fury, a low-grade prospect with a famous brother who handed Paul his only defeat in another fight that couldn’t come near living up to its own hype.

The world should be tired of this. The thinness of this act has become increasingly obvious, but plenty enough people will continue to buy in, and the show will roll on to its next destination.