Kamala’s Loss Leaves Obama Seething

Editor’s Note: Barack Obama, who served as the 44th President of the United States, spoke at a post-election gathering of black voters. Matt Manochio of  The American Spectator was present and submits this transcript of Obama’s brutally honest speech.

African American men, as your undisputed leader and messianic father figure, I, Barack Obama (he/him), am disappointed in the 24 percent of you who disrespected me by voting for Donald Trump.

As my former pastor Jeremiah Wright would say, God damn America. I say that daily, but say it now out of rage rather than habit because of your selfishness.

African/South Asian/Jamaican-American Vice President Kamala Harris was destined to be our next historic president until she started speaking and voters listened. Not everyone possesses my gift for oration. Kamala’s inability to speak substantively should not have disqualified her, given the state of our public education system.

Frankly, Kamala should not have had to speak at all. When I reluctantly installed her — er, I mean, when Kamala became our nominee from the grassroots up — the American electorate simply should’ve forgone November’s election and handed her power.

However, the United States has this quaint notion that Democrats should debase themselves by explaining their ideas to the hoi polloi rather than being empowered to implement them outright. This forced Kamala to concoct core beliefs beyond forcing Catholic hospitals to abort babies.

Any heartfelt values she focus-grouped shouldn’t have mattered because her marginalized status and that D next to her name has always meant minorities (African Americans, specifically) would blindly vote for her. Enough of you signaled you wouldn’t, forcing my hand.

Do you think I wanted to fly from Martha’s Vineyard to your housing projects to lecture you? I have better things to do, like producing Netflix documentaries about me.

“You’re thinking about sitting out or supporting somebody (Trump) who has a history of denigrating you, because you think that’s a sign of strength, because that’s what being a man is? Putting women down?” I scolded you in Pittsburgh. “That’s not acceptable.”

The Democratic party has plenty of masculine role models for you to emulate, like Jonathan Capehart or my wife. But Trump? Have you yet to realize your place by now? We swoop into your neighborhoods every two to four years to remind you to vote Democrat so we can make your lives marginally better while keeping you dependent on us. But no matter how poorly we run your crime-ridden cities, you must blame Republicans, and you vote for us.

“But Mr. Great President,” you might tell me, “my groceries cost too much and were cheaper under Trump.”

I haven’t stepped foot in a grocery store in years — someone does that for me. But regardless of how expensive your food is, we Democrats make sure your welfare benefits are on your EBT cards. Since when has that not been good enough for you?

What more could Kamala have done to treat you like respectable, mature adults? Once she realized African American men were abandoning her, she offered you marijuana the way Mortimer Duke dangled a bottle of alcohol in front of Billy Ray Valentine in Trading Places: “Whiskey! All you want!”

If asking for your vote in exchange for drugs doesn’t express how much she cares about you, nothing does. Still, you betrayed me. My friend and former Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson was just as distraught upon realizing you began thinking for yourselves.

“As different demographic groups become further integrated into our society, they start caring about all of the other issues that everyone else does,” Johnson said forlornly on MSNBC. “Whether it’s the economy, crime, whether it’s border security.”

Johnson described the Democrats’ nightmare scenario, which apparently occurred: Even though Kamala did a terrific job securing the border, many counties on the border, some of which are overwhelmingly Hispanic, voted for Trump.)

Because I am not Hispanic, I cannot credibly chastise the 45 percent of you who voted for Trump. I will leave that to intellectual heavyweights like Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) or that useful idiot on The View.

But I agree with Joe Scarborough and the Rev. Al Sharpton that Hispanic and African American men who don’t vote for a mixed-race Democratic woman are misogynistic racists on par with George Wallace or David Duke.

African American men who voted for Trump, I awoke November 6 and stood on my mansion’s seaside balcony, a steaming-hot latte in hand. I averted my eyes from the sun’s glare off the Atlantic Ocean, and I thought, America faces waters rougher than the waves crashing into my yacht because you ignored me. While you disappoint me the way a naughty son bedevils his father, remember that I care about how you vote. And I will remind you of this four years from now. In the meantime, stay off my lawn.

READ MORE from Matt Manochio:

Kamala Harris’s 60 Minutes Interview, for Real

Matt Walsh’s Am I Racist? Properly Reviewed

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