For months, I felt constantly bored and disengaged from hobbies I used to love. Then, I started saying yes to everything.
Alicia Simba
- I encourage my students to say yes to trying new things, but I wasn't following my own advice.
- Burnout and boredom led me to start saying yes to new plans, activities, people, and places.
- This helped me build a circle of friends, get off my phone, seek out opportunities, and enjoy life.
As a preschool teacher, I'm constantly encouraging my students to try new things.
I'll suggest they to do a puzzle with a kid they haven't played with before or maybe try painting instead of racing toy cars again. Sometimes, I'll ask if they want to abandon the slides and explore the garden and all its wonders instead.
At first, these suggestions are almost always rejected. Students feel shy, skeptical, and too comfortable with the familiar.
However, because kids are hardwired to be curious and adventurous, they soon branch out. They say yes. And the pay-off is immediate as they experience the joys of meeting someone new, trying something new, and going somewhere new.
My preschoolers were doing much better than me.
In the years following the COVID-19 lockdowns, asking someone out for plans felt daunting, new activities sounded intimidating, and expanding my horizons seemed unsettling.
What if people didn't want to hang out with me? What if I tried something new and I was bad at it? What if I ventured out of the house and didn't like it?
However, boredom and restlessness got the best of me. I eventually grew weary from scrolling through Instagram Reels, cycling through the same hangout spots, and typing out a text inviting someone to an event with me only to erase it with a sigh.
It was time to do what I'd done with my kids: push myself to say yes to new experiences.
Saying yes to new people expanded my circle
Alicia Simba
After moving for college, grad school, and work, my circle of friends were dispersed around the country. To make new friends locally, I needed to intentionally say yes.
I widened my network with birthday parties and Galentine's Day events and, from there, I said yes to all the invites and other gatherings that followed.
Karaoke, clothing swaps, bar crawls, I said yes. It didn't matter if I was tired or if I didn't really know the person who invited me or if plans fell through and had to be rescheduled several times — I kept saying yes.
Quickly, I remembered how great it feels to be around others. Slowly, I found my people and built up my circle of friends.
As I said yes to new places and experiences, I began to see opportunities all around me
Alicia Simba
As a creature of habit, I liked what I liked: taking walks, going to the movies, and reading outdoors. However, even the most fulfilling hobbies can lead to ennui.
Once I started looking for new experiences, I saw them all around, just waiting for me to say yes — the pilates studio by the train, the tennis court in the park near my home.
Now, I take classes at that studio twice a week (even though I still can't do a sideways plank) and my friends and I regularly host tournaments at that court despite only vaguely knowing the rules of tennis.
I thought I knew what I liked, but saying yes to new things has shown me how much more is out there that I could also enjoy.
Alicia Simba
Yes began applying to new places, too.
Instead of boredom pushing my friends and I to scroll mindlessly on Instagram, it drove us to scan Google Maps, seeking out patches of green and blue for day trips and weekends away. Yes. Yes Yes.
We've traipsed through bookstores, driven up vista points, and eaten at cafés we talk about today. I'd forgotten how amazing it felt to be outside and go on adventures.
It's been nice to find so much joy and opportunity in the world around me
Alicia Simba
The last few years almost made me forget the world outside and all of the opportunities within it. I'm glad I remembered.
For so long, days spent working, then scrolling endlessly on my phone had left me feeling so exhausted that my dream evenings were ones spent at home.
I'd felt legitimately burnt out, which made no feel like an easy answer, a way to put up boundaries and retreat further into myself.
However, what I needed more than anything was to say yes — to people, to experiences, to places, to being part of a community.
Saying yes has kept me busy and off my phone, but beyond that it's helped me build a fuller life.
And making sure I lead a life well lived? I'm saying yes to that.
