NRA Gives Dead Schoolchildren ‘F’ Rating

FAIRFAX, VA—Calling the young students “the true enemy of gun rights,” the National Rifle Association reportedly issued an “F” rating Monday to dead schoolchildren. 

“This is our lowest rating, and it’s exactly what this radical group of anti-gun extremists deserves,” said NRA CEO Doug Hamlin, who lambasted the deceased American shooting victims as “selfish, divisive, and tyrannical.” “From preschool to high school, dead schoolchildren are an assault on freedom. No one in the nation has ever done more to hurt the reputation of the Second Amendment. It’s going to take billions in fundraising to undo the political damage they’ve done.” 

In a later announcement, Hamlin awarded mass shooters a perfect “A+.”

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