I run a non-profit that relies heavily on federal funding. The industry is experiencing pandemic-level trauma right now — here's how I'm coping.

• Brie Franklin leads a nonprofit that receives 90% of its income from federal grants.
• Earlier this month, a judge blocked The White House's order to freeze all federal funding.
• Franklin is taking steps to make sure she isn't bearing the weight of what is going on alone.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Brie Franklin, a nonprofit executive director based in Denver. It's been edited for length and clarity.

The nonprofit space is experiencing a level of trauma similar to the pandemic — which I don't think we ever fully recovered from.

I'm the executive director at the Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault. Since the White House sent out the federal funding freeze memo, my nonprofit is uncertain about our organization's future.

A federal judge temporarily blocked the freeze, but we still don't know what's next, and it's incredibly stressful for staff.

As a small nonprofit, we're highly reliant on federal funding

My nonprofit supports survivors of sexual violence through a crisis hotline. Our members work with survivors through anything from rape crisis centers to government-based advocate programs. We also provide training, resources, and support, and we do policy work at the state level. Federal grants make up over 90% of our income.

We're funded on a reimbursement basis, meaning we request money from the feds after it's been spent. Since the temporary funding freeze, we've been able to get reimbursed, but the future of our funding is uncertain.

On February 6, the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) in the US Department of Justice withdrew all notices of funding opportunities and instructed organizations not to complete current applications. This is especially devastating for us. We don't know if and when they'll repost notices.

We don't know how to plan for the future

We should be able to trust our government to honor its commitments, but right now, we're still waiting to see what happens with most of our funding.

We put our annual conference on hold. We'd typically be confirming presenters and workshop topics now, including workshops on how to work with specific populations, such as survivors who are deaf or hard of hearing. With new DEI restrictions, we don't know if we're even allowed to do that.

We also don't know if our members and partners will be able to use their grant funds to attend the conference.

We're on the hook with a hotel contract, and if we cancel, it'll cost us about $22,500.

I'm worried what this means for our staff and the survivors we support

It's very difficult to support a survivor who's in a crisis or navigating very complex systems when you yourself are in a crisis and worried about your job.

On February 11, we received communication from the CDC that it rescinded its memos to cease DEI activities on all CDC-funded awards and cease all activities promoting gender ideology. If we continue to receive similar communication, we'll resume all activities as normal and hope to continue to be reimbursed for our current grant agreements.

As a leader, I'm making sure I'm not bearing the weight of what is going on alone by keeping staff informed, asking for their input, and having conversations with other leaders for support and ideas. Being in a community with our organization, members, and partners is helping me cope.

If your business or organization relies on federal funding and you would like to share your story, please email Manseen Logan at mlogan@businessinsider.com.