30 Best Mark Twain Quotes When You Want a Dose of Levity or Profound Wisdom

Mark Twain quotes are revered for their wisdom, just like MLK quotes. Born Samuel Clemens, Twain was a very successful writer, publishing American classics like The Adventures of Tom Sawyer in 1876, and turning it into one of the first fictional franchises with its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, in 1884. These successes brought him fame and fortune.

Yet, by the 1890s, Twain had lost much of his fortune in poor investments and economic fiascos with his publisher. In 1885, at the age of 60, Twain packed up his family and went on a worldwide speaking tour, essentially, taking his show on the road to make enough money to pay off his debts.

One of America's greatest artistic success stories was also rife with relatable struggles. And, like any legendary figure, the myths about Twain are hard to untangle from reality. For example, if you search for great quotes by Mark Twain, you may find pearls of wisdom like, "It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog." But, in that specific case, those words weren't spoken, or written, by Twain at all.

And yet, Twain did say (or write) many hilarious and brilliant things in his life, that we can verify were his own original ideas. And those insightful words of wisdom are still relevant today—sometimes shockingly so. If you're feeling down, reading a Mark Twain short story is a great way to escape and feel instantly more clever. But, if you're pressed for time, here are some of Twain's best quotes on politics, human nature, and writing.  

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Mark Twain Quotes on Politics and Patriotism 

• "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."
• "Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
• "In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

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Mark Twain Quotes on Books and Writing

• "A successful book is not made of what is in it, but of what is left out of it."
• “It is so unsatisfactory to read a noble passage and have no one you love at hand to share the happiness with you.”
• "An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency."
• "My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine. Everybody drinks water."
• "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
• "It’s a classic… something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."

Mark Twain Quotes on Human Nature

• "Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to."
• "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."
• "If everybody was satisfied with himself there would be no heroes.”
• "Be good or you will be lonesome."

• "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

• "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

• "The very best thing in all this world that can befall a man is to be born lucky."

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Funniest Mark Twain Quotes 

• "Do your duty today and repent tomorrow."
• "Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."

• "Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

• "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."

• "Familiarity breeds contempt—and children."

• "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."

• "Do not put off until tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well."

• “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first."

• All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

• "The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

• "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

• "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not."

• "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." 

• "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

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