I'm a Whiskey Expert. This Nonalcoholic Substitute Is the Best I've Tried Yet

Nonalcoholic spirits usually aren't good. Like poorly made suits or tuxedos, something about it doesn’t sit right. But over the last few years, the nonalcoholic market has exploded—perhaps due to the fact that young people want to live longer.

Whatever the reason, global desire for that forever youthful glow has led almost every major spirits maker to step into the nonalcoholic field. Brands now feel the need to create sober sippers that can enjoyed without consequence, yet still carry that party attitude that's existed since humans began drinking alcohol around 7,000 BCE.

The latest to do so is WhistlePig. The brand, known for rye whiskey, just rolled out Sex, Drugs, Rock & Dry Old Fashioned, an Alice Cooper-backed mocktail that looks like the real thing.

Though I said earlier that nonalcoholic drinks aren't good, Sex, Drugs, Rock & Dry Old Fashioned isn’t bad. There's none of that saccharine flavor—which tastes like mixing all the options together at a soda fountain—that usually ruins mocktails. 

Instead, WhistlePig replaced that usual hogswallop with a bit of bite and surprising lightness—which is especially unexpected, considering its supposed to resemble a nonalcoholic maple old fashioned. 

Crafted with 100-percent rye non-whiskey, barrel-aged maple syrup, schisandra berry, aphrodisiac damiana, and cordyceps, the mocktail tastes like something you might actually enjoy at home—or even out. 

Even better, a glass or two down the line you find yourself in a surprisingly relaxed state. That's due to the cordyceps, which are adaptogenic mushrooms that are supposed to reduce stress.

The cloudy glass bottle containing the liquid comes in a psychedelic cardboard box and is surprisingly weighty, so it won't look ridiculous next to other bottles on your bar. Like any good drink, it can be enjoyed on its own. Just add a couple ice cubes to a real old fashioned glass, pour over, and enjoy.

While I’m not saying I’ll be turning to WhistlePig Sex, Drugs, Rock & Dry Old Fashioned on most nights, it’s an enjoyable addition to a market that’s pretty bland. The refreshing flavor and relaxing vibes make the product surprisingly unique. And for $50 per bottle, it doesn't break the bank, either.

Best of all, 100-percent of the profits from the Sex, Drugs & Rock Dry Old Fashioned sales are donated to Giving Kitchen, a nonprofit providing emergency assistance for food service workers, including financial support and a network of community resources. That's worth a sip in itself.

Related: Dry January Is No Problem if You Stick to These Delicious Nonalcoholic Beers