Continuing an ‘Obnoxious Tradition’: The Best and the Worst of 2024

Continuing – and perhaps concluding – the “tradition” (“one of the most obnoxious end-of-year traditions…”) started at TMV in 2023 of remembering “the best and the worst people, events, things and phenomena” of the year gone-by, here is a drastically summarized version.

While in our 2023 “list” we quoted several sources, this year we will focus on just one list, Michelle Cottle’s New York Times “The 2024 High School Yearbook of American Politics.”

It is interesting to see how several stars in Michelle Cottle’s “2023 High School Yearbook of American politics” fared this year.

Take 2023’s “Most Likely to Be Picked Last in Gym Class: Matt Gaetz,” the man who led the ”slow-rolling, breathtaking fiasco that ground the House to a halt and made the entire Republican conference look like a pack of petty, pouty, incompetent preschoolers.”

In the 2024 yearbook, Gaetz is the “Most Likely to Crash Prom Night.” Cottle writes, “I didn’t need a House ethics report to tell me that the guy is pure Florida swamp slime…”

The man who arose out of that 2023 GOP House melee as Speaker, Mike Johnson, was 2023’s “Biggest Masochist.” “At this point, what sensible person would want to be speaker of the House?” commiserated Cottle.

Cottle now predicts that Johnson is “Most Likely to Have a Crummy New Year.” She laments, “Assuming Mr. Johnson keeps the gavel, the coming months promise to be even more … invigorating for him.”

Florida’s Ron DeSantis went from being 2023’s “Biggest Flop” (“…just an awkward, aggrieved, opportunistic, anti-charismatic, aspiring autocrat with a mile-wide cruel streak…”) to become 2024’s “Most Disappointing Draft Pick.”

Vivek Ramaswamy went from “Most Likely to Be Given an Atomic Wedgie” to “Most Likely to Be Hazed…DOGE or no DOGE, this guy is just so annoying.”

Strangely — perhaps, Thank God! — some of 2023’s personalities did not make a reappearance in the 2024 list. Among them:

• Most Fabulous Fabulist: George Santos
• Worst Date Night: Lauren Boebert
• Most Pathetic Nepo Baby: Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
• Runner-Up: Rudy Giuliani. Commenting on Giuliani’s legal maneuvers in the defamation case of two Georgia election workers, Cottle called it “a bold strategy. Let’s see if it pays off for him.”

Newcomers to the 2024 list are:

Top Mean Girl: Nancy Mace:

The South Carolina Republican is known for being willing to do pretty much anything for attention. But crusading to get her brand-new colleague Sarah McBride barred from the women’s room in the Capitol is some next-level pettiness.

Most Likely to Be in Charge of Trump Fraternity Hazing: Pete Hegseth. “Beware of men who casually mistreat women.”

Saddest Consolation Prize: Kari Lake:

Mr. Trump has tapped her to be the new head of Voice of America. But after her failed races for governor in 2022 and the Senate in 2024, it’s clear Ms. Lake isn’t even the voice of Arizona.

Coolest Quasi-Breakup Gift: Kimberly Guilfoyle:

Her nomination to be the ambassador to Greece surfaced just as photos of Don Jr. getting cozy with a comely socialite were making the social media rounds. Assuming the Trumpfoyle merger is kaput, it’s tough to say who dodged the bigger disaster.

Then there are these:

• Most Vexing Dropout: Joe Biden.
• Biggest Flash in the Pan: Tim Walz.
• Breakout Stars: Childless Cat Ladies.
• Wickedest Meme: JD Vance’s grandmother’s couch.
• Most Ill-Fated Bromance: Donald Trump and Elon Musk.
• Grossest-Yet-Catchiest Smear: “They’re eating the pets.”

Tucker Carlson is listed as 2024’s Creepiest Election Metaphor: “His ranting about how a second Trump term would be like ‘Dad’ coming home ‘pissed’ and ready to spank a ‘bad girl’ — no. Just, no.”

Although “ineligible for regular awards,” Trump did make Cottle’s 2023 list as “the first former president to be criminally indicted. Big time.” She adds:

We’re talking 91 felony counts, state and federal, ranging from obstruction of justice to racketeering. Is this achievement more or less notable than his being the only president to earn two impeachments? Hard to say. But at this rate, to distinguish himself in 2024, Mr. Trump will need to go really big — perhaps by running for president from prison?

Trump returns “center stage” to the 2024 High School Yearbook of American Politics with the following entry:

No presidential contender has ever had a year like his: $350 million in court-ordered payments in a civil fraud case, $83.3 million in a defamation case, 34 felony convictions in a hush-money case, two assassination attempts and the biggie — 312 electoral votes. As usual, Mr. Trump was operating according to a different set of rules than everyone else.

Finally, yes, there were a few – not many – of the best of 2024. Notably, among them, “the smoothest communicator,” Pete Buttigieg:

The transportation secretary remained unmatched in his ability to genially explain complex policy concepts and ideological positions to hostile audiences, while dismembering misinformation and partisan attacks. #FoxWhisperer.

Read the full list of 2024 “men, women, pets, memes, vibes — so much specialness to celebrate” here.

Wishing all a Happy New Year and hoping you’ll stay out of such lists.

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