I fear I’m becoming obsessed with the man I’m talking to online

DEAR DEIDRE: I FEAR I’m becoming obsessed with the man I’m talking to online.

I reread his messages again and again, and count the hours until he replies. I know it’s ridiculous, as I’ve never met him, but I don’t seem to be able to stop.

I’m 44 and have been single since my divorce. I live alone and don’t have kids.

A few months ago, I started chatting to a man, 42, on social media. We clicked instantly and I found him so easy to talk to.

But he’s messed me around a lot – agreeing to meet, then changing his mind; saying he’s not talking to other women, then admitting he is.

He’s upset me and I’ve felt uncharacteristically jealous.

Part of me feels I should tell him how much I like him, but the other part thinks I should keep him at arm’s length because I can’t trust him and don’t really know him.

I can’t go a day without messaging him. I sit looking at my phone, reading his replies and trying to analyse them to see if he really does like me.

And if I’m working or out, I constantly check my phone in case I’ve missed a message. 

I’m driving myself crazy and feel miserable.

DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like you’re lonely, which is why you’re obsessing over a man who you don’t trust and who messes you around.

It’s a vicious circle: the more you focus on him, the more miserable you feel. 

Perhaps you need to go cold turkey. 

Instead, get yourself out of the house seeing friends, or making new ones.

My support packs, Widening Your Social Scene and How To Meet The Right Partner For You, should help.