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I identify as a lesbian but now I’m falling for my male personal trainer

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Young woman and man are shaking hands after an intense training in the gym. Focus on woman

DEAR DEIDRE: UNTIL recently I had always identified as a lesbian, but now I’m finding myself falling for my male personal trainer, and I can’t quite wrap my head around it.

I’m 26, and since I was a young teen, I was always certain of my attraction to women. 

Men had never interested me, and so I never found myself questioning my sexuality.

That was until I joined a new gym and met my personal trainer. He was tall, muscular, and manly – the complete opposite of what I usually go for.

At first I didn’t know what I was feeling, but as I continued to spend time with him, I found myself ogling him more and more.

While I’d never found myself attracted to a man before, suddenly I started to feel a burning desire deep inside.

Now I’m struggling to get the thought of him out of my head, and I can’t make sense of where these feelings have come from.

Every time we have a session, I’m practically skipping into the gym because I’m excited to see him. 

I feel so confused. 

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DEIDRE SAYS: For a lot of people, sexuality can be very fluid, and it’s not uncommon for it to change over time.

While it’s important you don’t rush into labelling yourself, it could be possible that you are bisexual.

My support pack, Bisexual Questions, will help you think this through.
If you want to talk through your feelings, contact Switchboard LGBT (0300 330 0630).

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:

deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk