How to Get Your Party Guests to Leave
There is only one thing you need in order to host the perfect party: boundaries. If you can’t make your own, store-bought is fine.
Let’s say you’re hosting dinner, and it’s nearing the end of the night. The food has been eaten, drinks have been drunk, and now, you’re eyeing the clock and stifling a yawn. Suddenly, you hear a horrifying sound: A guest just cracked open a new beer. Then, your chatty cousin launches into their tirade about blockchain, and the plus-one of a person who’s already left asks who wants to play Cards Against Humanity. (Don’t worry, they brought their own deck!) What’s a hospitable host to do? Fake a fire? Play dead? Is there proper party etiquette for getting your guests to just leave already?
Remember those boundaries we made earlier? This is the perfect time to serve them. As the party host, you get to set the rules (e.g., shoes off, don’t touch the music, bedtime is at 11:30 p.m.). However, if you need help cooking up ways to get your guests to leave, here are a few tips.
Set an end time on the invite
On an old episode of the Rachael Ray show, Thomas P. Farley, a.k.a. Mister Manners, gave this straightforward recommendation: Make sure your invites include a start and end time. Though I am dubious of anyone whose job includes the title “mister,” this is the simplest way to let guests know when you want them to leave. You are under no obligation to say the party goes from “6 p.m. to ???” if you want people out of your house by 10 p.m.
For a more passive-aggressive approach, send a message with your décor. Hang this “Please leave by 9” banner or serve snacks on a charcuterie board that says, “If you’re reading this, the snacks are gone and it’s time to go home.”
Start with subtle hints
Perhaps you set an end time, but the party doesn’t seem to be tapering off. Do a last call on drinks and food 15 minutes before you want people to leave. It’s a gentle nudge toward wrapping up the evening without rushing guests out.
If you’re looking for tried-and-true methods, one TikTok recommends turning the conversation to the next day (e.g., “What have you got planned for tomorrow? Wow, sounds busy! You should probably get some rest.”). Another TikTok suggests asking someone for the time and remarking how late it is. WitchTok insists that standing your broom bristle-side up will get guests to leave, though it’s unclear if you have to do this in front of them or secretly. For another TikTok-approved technique that may not work but couldn’t hurt, try this Midwest classic: Slap your thighs, sigh loudly, and say, “Welp.”
Try something a little more obvious
In a Washington Post column, Miss Manners (née Judith Martin) wrote, “Under no circumstances are hosts supposed to cite their own need to clear the house.” But even Miss Manners has her limits. If party guests are lingering too long, she recommends saying, “Well, we’ve been so happy to see you, but I know you must be tired” and standing up. The key, she insists, is to keep standing until the other person gets up, at which point you can walk them to the door. Is it subtle? No, but it’s more effective than her initial suggestion of saying nothing at all.
You could also start tidying up. A party host picking up empty cups is the universal sign for “Please leave.” Walking around with a big trash bag and still no movement? Ask for help cleaning up. Guests will see themselves out posthaste.
Ha-ha, but really, leave
A friend of mine likes to employ the phrase, “I’m turning back into a pumpkin” when she’s ready for guests to go. It doesn’t make complete logical sense — Cinderella didn’t turn into a pumpkin, and my friend isn’t a horse-drawn carriage. In a sense, you’re signaling that the evening is over and giving your guests a little riddle as a party favor.
If you’re looking to forgo subtly entirely, you can turn to the most preeminent hosting expert, Martha Stewart. Her go-to method for getting guests to leave is perhaps my favorite: “Frankly, I just say, ‘I’m going to bed.’”
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