13 things horsey people don’t understand

Ever find yourself wondering how your horse manages to find the muddiest spot straight after a bath? Discover what else baffles us equestrians…

1. Why it seems almost impossible to wake up in time for work but you jump out of bed on the morning of a show.

2. Why our non-horsey friends don’t share the view that every park/golf course/large garden could be improved with the addition of a few cross-country fences.

3. That despite loving the smell of your favourite horse, not everyone shares the same appreciation in the office.

4. How anyone can keep perfect nail varnish for more than a couple of minutes. After mucking out and grooming all hopes of neat nails are gone – we prefer the chipped look anyway.

5. That poo picking is not a normal pastime.

6. How equestrian clothes have suddenly become a fashion statement. Since when was it trendy to wear jodhpur boots?

7. How much money you spend on ‘essentials’ for your horse – show bridles, massage pads and that extra rug just in case – when you haven’t had your hair cut in a couple of years.

8. Why non-horsey friends aren’t excited about Burghley.

9. How your horse manages to find the muddiest spot in the field straight after a bath.

10. Why non-horsey people cannot understand the difference between a pony and a horse (no, a pony is not a baby horse).

11. That describing someone with a limp as ‘lame’ is not acceptable. Likewise referring to someone who is overweight as a ‘good doer’ is not ok.

12. How your horse can tell when you have switched off an electric fence so they can sneak into a grassier paddock.

13. How anyone could think it is strange to talk to horses.

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