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When I discovered my wife was messaging a former student, you saved our family

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A mother and teenage son shopping new clothes for school, trying on a school uniform

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I discovered that my wife was messaging a former student, I was horrified.

I was even more alarmed when she told me she planned to meet him.

I’m 43 and she’s 39. The child is 16. 

She taught him when he was 11. They’ve both since left the school, and she came across him on social media, earlier this year.

She said she was the only one he could open up to about his difficult home life, and she was just supporting him. But I felt it was inappropriate and worried she’d get into trouble. 

You told me I was right to be concerned. However innocent her motives, she could lose her job because her actions could be seen as grooming. 

You advised me to tell her not to meet him. 

In addition, you made me think about our relationship and whether something was lacking – such as a child. 

We talked at length and she admitted she craved a child who needed her. 

She’s stopped the daily messaging and has agreed not to meet the boy.

Now we’re planning to start our own family. Thank you, Deidre.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m pleased I was able to help you talk to her. I wish you both lots of luck for the future.

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

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Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

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