Hovis’ Friday diary: Sir Hovis has such a nice ring, doesn’t it?

Dear diary,

Let me start off with an apology – the mothership had spinal fusion L5/4, L4/3, L3/2 last Thursday and is thus taking my dictation somewhat off her trolley on painkillers. She can’t spell on a good day so lord knows what it will be like after the human kissing spines op and bute – just bear with her (I’ve had to for 19 years…).

Anyways, enough of my mother’s attention seeking activities, let’s move this into what you’re all really wanting to know about – which is me. Obviously!

So, last week I covered off day one at YHL where I met up with my Team GB hairless chicklets, Ros and Laura, had a slightly off-piste jumping moment, picked up my gold medal and had visitations from literally hundreds of you all. It is fair to say that it was a good day…

Later on that afternoon, I was visited by a new friend; titan of the equine world, known to millions worldwide for his talent and the mind-boggling longevity of career, John Whitaker. John was there promoting his new biography, which has special poignance as 50p from each sale is going to a charity called doitforbrodie, set up by the wonderful Emma Webb. On a note of seriousness, I doubt there’s anyone who can imagine the pain of losing a child, but for Emma to campaign the way she has is awe inspiring. So, we all had photos together, as philanthropists and changers of the world for the better. John also tried to lure me to Team GB for the showjumpers, but as I said to him – “John, my learned friend, it took a long time for British Eventing to admit they’d got it so very wrong. I am not going to abandon them now… But chuck in some haylage, a lot of loose-principled mares and some trips to some nice foreign climes and we might be able to rethink this.” He went away to think about my requests…

Don’t fret my eventing eaglets – there’s enough of me to go round. Mother says I’d feed an entire street for a week…

Sunday, as YHL dawned wet and miserable and as we were a (wo)man down, the mothership had to chalk my feathers. I’m not sure where she thought the chalk went, but it doesn’t send my feathers white through inhalation. I took great amusement for the fact she walked about for the rest of the day looking like A Happy Mondays hanger-on – white power marks on her arse and a suspicious amount in her moustache…

Despite the fact every time I moved, a cloud of haze went up such that I looked like a low rent version of Stars In Their Eyes as I wafted my way down the arena with Ros again and had a good old ponce about with her, posed for some photos, had a snog with Laura’s steed and generally had a ball. Hamish, my body double, came along everywhere and so we got some great shots of him hobnobbing with my buddies to try and up the money he raises. See Hamish’s adventures on my Facebook page.

My new book, Hovis’ Friday Diary: what’s the story, medal glory, was flying off the shelves with people indulging in guilt-free Christmas shopping for friends, relatives, yard owners and frankly, themselves. I’ve said it a million times, but I will say it again – I don’t take anything. Nothing. Nada. Zip. When we go to the shows, mum pays for everyone’s accommodations and all my team buy their own food and drink. We do not, and never ever have, taken a single bean of money for anything we do. So please do consider heading to www.bransbyhorses.co.uk and buying me from their shop. Well, my books anyway!

To be in with a chance of winning my one off hand-made body double Hamish (created and donated for free by the brilliant Helen Neilson – the crafty civil servant), follow this link.

It costs just £1 a ticket (you can buy worldwide in any currency) and all the money goes again to Bransby Horses. He’s an exact replica of me – only smaller, cheaper and easier to keep. Mum will post in time for Christmas, so please do enter. I’d love to break the £1,000 mark as a thank you to Helen and to raise more money.

So, the afternoon was an emotional last ride for Ros, who has to now wonder where on earth her career could take her to peak that moment. I had a long chat with her, guiding her, supporting her and fostering that incredible talent of hers. It’s a long way since we first met at Belton in 2018, but I am so proud of how well she has taken to my coaching. LA is in the bag for her if she follows the Hovis how-to guide – she’s an all-round very special lady and I told her that.

As I headed home, I reflected yet again on the impact this little bogtrotter from a field in Ireland has had on the equestrian world – 19 years at the top, the OG of equine influencers, coach to the stars, gold medal-winning chef de squeak and philanthropist extraordinaire. I have to wonder where MY career goes now…

Pondering it, Sir Hovis has such a nice ring, doesn’t it? Just sayin’…

Laters,

Hovis

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