I thought cancer was blocked duct from breastfeeding… four months on I’m preparing for mastectomy says Hollyoaks star
FOLLOWING her shock breast cancer diagnosis, actress and Strictly star Ali Bastian opens up about losing her hair and her new relationship with her boobs.
Two weeks ago, Ali Bastian was on the beach with her family, near from their West Cork home.
Uncomfortably hot, the former Hollyoaks actress took a deep breath and removed the wig from her head to reveal the effects of four months of chemotherapy.
It was the first time she had done so in public.
Ali, 42, says: “I trot around with a bald head all the time at home. But I’d had this fear that becoming bald from chemo was me ‘becoming’ a cancer patient, and that was all anyone would see.
“I thought it would be like losing my identity.
“It frightened me that something which had previously been invisible would now be very visible.
“The hair loss from chemo is like an outward expression of how raw you feel inside.
“But losing your hair is a small price to pay to be well.
“And when I took off my wig on the beach, it only felt like a big thing for a split second.
“Then it felt all right, and then it just felt normal. I’m hot and my bald head needs some air!
“All of this is a work in progress and I’m still adjusting to it.”
It’s been nearly five months since the actress and former Strictly star was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer after discovering a lump in her left breast.
Doctors initially thought it was a blocked duct and prescribed anti- biotics for mastitis.
Ali had returned to breastfeeding youngest daughter Izzy, now 22 months, through the night and assumed that was why her boobs were sore. But the pain did not go away and tests revealed cancer.
The diagnosis has upended Ali’s idyllic life with husband David O’Mahony, 42, a writer, director and actor, and their two little girls, Izzy and elder sister Isla, four.
‘I’ll have a big tattoo’
“I’m so relieved I found the lump when I did,” says Ali.
“Pregnancy and breastfeeding are sensitive times for women, and we’re not exempt from needing to check our breasts during this time.
“If there’s anything that doesn’t feel right, get it checked. I’ll do anything I can to raise awareness for women to check their breasts.”
On diagnosis, Ali was advised to stop breastfeeding and did so over the weeks before chemo started.
She says: “Although it was an abrupt end to our breastfeeding journey, Izzy handled it really well.
“Looking back, I was probably ready, thankfully. I knew it was the first step to moving towards treatment so I focused on dropping feeds one by one.”
So far, Ali’s daughters have been told that Mummy goes to hospital for “some very strong medicine” and have accepted she needs a lot of rest.
Ali is less certain about how to navigate her upcoming mastectomy with them, especially as Isla is old enough to have some understanding.
She says: “It’s tricky and I don’t know how to deal with that yet.
“My eldest is a bright spark when it comes to what’s going on around her. Like most kids her age, you can’t pull the wool over her eyes.
Surgeons will remove Ali’s affected breast in the new year, once chemo is complete, before she begins a course of radiotherapy.
After that, she plans to have the second breast removed as a preventive measure and then undergo reconstructive surgery on both.
It is a decision she still grapples with. “At the beginning, I thought, ‘I’m going to have a big Rocky tattoo over it!’. Wouldn’t that surprise people, if I got a massive sleeve across where my boobs had been?
“Maybe I will do that — never say never. But now I’ve had space to process the mastectomy is going to happen, I’d like the reconstruction.
“I haven’t had my appointment with the plastics team yet, and I know plenty of women stay flat and bear their scars as a mark of what they’ve been through.
“But when I think of myself in the future, I imagine myself with a body that looks familiar. Even with clothes on, I’d like my silhouette to look close to what it did before.”
I wanted to be honest, but I had no idea about the incredible response I’d get from that video.
Ali Bastian
Ali speaks about her illness with thoughtfulness. She describes her feelings around her relationship with her body, triggered by cancer.
She has struggled to reconcile that the breasts that nurtured her daughters are putting her life at risk. “I’ve worked really hard to feel compassion for my breasts and therefore myself, but sometimes that’s been difficult,” she says.
“For a while I found it hard even to put moisturiser on my boob after a shower. I’ve had to tell myself, ‘Come on, Ali. This boob is fighting and it needs some love’.
“I’d never want to feel at odds with my boob . . . so I make sure to thank it for nourishing my children, for all the good times we’ve had together and right now, for fighting such a good fight.
“I also know I’m going to have to start to let it go. I know that will have to happen.” Husband David has been by Ali’s side through her chemo and recovery in between.
As both are self-employed, there have been financial challenges, but it has also given him the flexibility to keep the plates spinning at home.
“He’s been amazing, emotionally and with holding the fort,” says Ali.
‘I feel every heart emoji’
“Neither of us are working a great deal, although he’s trying to do what he can.
“But the fact he’s freelance has meant he can be here for me and with the kids.
“He’s very much my best friend as well as my husband.”
This is by no means the first challenge the couple have faced together.
During lockdown, when Isla was still a baby, she had severe food allergies that led to numerous hospital dashes.
Ali says: “We were in crisis mode for a sustained period and, at that point in our marriage, there was nothing we hadn’t seen of each other — good, bad, ugly.
“That can be make or break, but for us it was a liberation. Now life is all over the floor again, but we’ve just got to keep going, know this will pass and we will put our lives back together again.”
One glimmer during the darkness of the past few months has been the results of Ali’s genetic test, which showed that she does not carry a faulty BRCA gene, which would have put Isla and Izzy at a higher risk of developing breast cancer in the future.
“It was such a huge relief,” she says. “However, I do have a family history that is a bit above average. I lost my maternal aunt and grand- ma to breast cancer and I’m the youngest to have it in our family.
“Because of that, the girls will have to be kept an eye on and there will be a plan for making sure they’re in the system and aware. Early detection is everything. I think breast cancer is going to be a big subject in our family forever.”
I also know I’m going to have to start to let it go.
Ali Bastian
In a cruel twist of fate, the lump discovery came just months after the family had relocated from London to rural West Cork in search of a fresh start on the Irish coast.
Ali, who is full of praise for her team at Cork University Hospital’s Orchid Centre, says: “I feel like I landed here, my life burst into flames and then the Irish scooped me up and said, ‘Don’t worry, we’ve got you’.
“If I’m ever feeling panicky, I think about the faces of every single person I’ve met on this journey.
“From Steph, who makes the tea in the Dunmanway Unit, and knows I like it in a mug, to all the nurses who know the names of my kids, through to my oncology and surgical teams, there’s a whole new cast of characters in my life and I’m grateful for every one.
“They have always made me feel whole. None of them had a Scooby who I was — and all of them are working to get me through this.”
Ali has also been overwhelmed with support from fans since going public with her journey in September, when she posted a video on Instagram showing David cutting her hair and then Ali shaving her head.
She says: “Putting any kind of a sheen over this would be a disservice to other women.
Little wins
“I wanted to be honest, but I had no idea about the incredible response I’d get from that video.
“I often go back and look at those comments and I’m lifted by this community that has emerged. I feel every kind comment, heart emoji, connection and bit of love.”
Ali’s chemo is nearly complete and, as she prepares for the next phase of treatment, Christmas and New Year will be spent quietly at home with David’s family.
She explains: “The other day we went for a walk on the beach and Izzy said, ‘Mummy, sit’. The rest of the family were charging ahead, but I sat with her. ‘Mummy, watch’, she said.
She just wanted to watch the waves. I think of myself in London, dashing around with a buggy. When you slow down, you notice the subtle moments, the little wins.
“Going for a walk with my family — that’s a win. This simplification of life is something I’m going to be protective of moving forward.”
Ali reveals she is dreaming of a family holiday once this is over and hopes to make a return to acting.
“I’ve been so busy over the past few years having children, and I had been hoping to return to it this year,” she said.
“Obviously, life had other plans. But this has reaffirmed my love of acting. I miss other actors. I miss being on set and the playfulness. It’s my happy place, so I can’t wait.”
- Ali has found refuge in virtual care clinic Perci Health, which gives people living with cancer access to specialists and healthcare professionals online.