My wife and I are childhood sweethearts – but now I’ve discovered she’s slept with my COUSIN, I’m gutted
A MAN has revealed that he and wife were childhood sweethearts, but after making a big change to their relationship, he is now feeling betrayed and gutted.
The 30-year-old confessed that he and his 29-year-old wife had only ever slept with each other, so decided to open up their marriage.
But after they both explored their bisexual fantasies, things soon went wrong when the anonymous man’s wife admitted to sleeping with her husband’s cousin.
Not only did she bed her man’s family member, but she wanted to do it again too.
Keen to open up on the situation, the frustrated man took to social media to reveal all.
Posting on Reddit, on the r/relationship_advice thread under the username @throwRA7642, the man titled his post ‘My (30F) wife (29F) slept with my cousin and I don’t know what to do.’
She then explained: “Me and my wife are high school sweethearts, even went to the same college.
“Basically we have almost never been apart our entire relationship and have a wonderful relationship.
“We are both bisexual but have only slept with each other, and mutually felt like we wanted to see what it was like to be with men.
“After a long awkward but productive conversation we decided to try an open relationship.”
The man revealed that their open relationship had been ‘amazing’, as he added: “That was a year ago and honestly it’s worked out amazing.
“We almost never actually sleep with other women, only guys, and when we do it’s rare and we tell each other about it.
“Not like details but just who, how and when so that way no suspicious activities.
“We both slept around about the same amount so it’s not like either of us are abusing it. Overall it was working out really well.”
What is an open relationship?
An open relationship means having more than one sexual partner at the same time.
Both parties in the relationship agree to be non-exclusive and one or both parties engages in sexual activities outside the relationship.
If one or both parties engage in sexual relationships without an agreement, this would be classed as cheating.
Other names for an open relationship are polyamory and consensual non-monogamy.
However, things quickly changed when his wife slept with his 24-year-old cousin.
He shared: “Until a week ago we had a very small get together and I had my siblings and cousins over.
“Well I just got told today by my wife that she and my cousin slept together the day after the party and wanted to do it again.
“And that she didn’t tell me the first time cause she knew it would cause friction, but if she knew it would cause friction why would she sleep with him once. Let alone try it again?”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
Clearly gutted, the man asked: “I never expected this but is this normal for an open relationship?
“I’m definitely not comfortable with this but I’m unsure.”
Reddit users react
Reddit users were left stunned by the woman’s actions and flocked to the comments to share their thoughts on the situation.
One person said: “She knew it would cause friction and she did it anyway before talking to you about it. She violated one of the cardinal rules in an open relationship.
“You guys need to talk about it. If you’re not feeling it, set a hard line.
“I’m not going to say this qualifies as “cheating” because that is entirely dependent on how you feel about it. She knew it would be wrong in some way and she did it anyway.
“That is simply not okay and you need to set simple rules going forward.”
I get you’re in an “open relationship” but family is a no-go regardless
Reddit user
Another added: “There is no going back from this. This was a power move to position herself above you and it succeeded.
“You played yourself in the corner for not at least negotiating a firm no’s in this mess before you started. Now you are uncomfortable and she is your family’s love dispenser.
“And believe me, she is not sorry. Your cousin is probably laughing behind your back right now, and soon to your face as well.”
A third commented: “I would file a divorce.”
Whilst someone else advised: “Divorce. That. B***h. I get you’re in an “open relationship” but family is a no-go regardless. Also please punch your cousin for me.”