I have a very devoted boyfriend who loves me… we hope to start a family one day – but I can’t stop being a swinger
ONE woman has revealed how swinging has become an important aspect of her life – despite hoping to start a family with her boyfriend one day.
According to the anonymous woman, who works as an account manager for a multi-national corporation, the couple ”satisfy the criteria for a successful middle-class couple in their early 30s”.
Her partner works for a major accounting firm and their demanding jobs keep the duo busy from Monday to Friday, the Cambridge graduate said.
During the weekend, they tend to spend time at the flat she owns near London, cooking and chilling on the sofa after they’ve come back from a long cycling trip.
The loved-up pair are also hoping to start a family together one day, she claimed.
However, there’s another, a more kinky, side to the otherwise ‘traditional’ couple.
”For, every six weeks or so, we head out to anonymous houses in the Home Counties to enjoy sexual encounters with strangers,” said the woman who proudly confessed they were ”swingers”.
One such recent event began like any other and the room was allegedly ”full of smartly dressed people from their mid-20s to late 30s, most of them well-educated professionals, sipping Taste the Difference prosecco and talking about politics”.
The swinger had arrived wearing a sexy cocktail dress, while the men were looking smart in shirts and jackets.
”The fun usually begins when you realise that half the party is making its way upstairs — and that the women are peeling off their clothes to reveal lingerie that would outshine a Victoria’s Secret catwalk,” she spilled the beans on what really goes on inside the swinger parties.
”Women especially are told this sort of sexual experimentation is not liberating but demeaning and tawdry, that it indulges men’s fantasies because women are hard-wired to crave monogamy and stability, not promiscuity.”
The woman, who said she had ”had a very happy childhood in the Home Counties” with parents who’ve been married for close to four decades, had a short relationship when she was a teenager.
This was followed by her second boyfriend whom she was together with for more than two years – but then another man entered the picture.
The new partner, named Charlie, was her boyfriend for seven years and they lived together for five.
”When we finally broke up, everything felt up in the air – where I lived, what made me happy — and how I loved.
”I’d been in monogamous relationships since I was 16, but chasing the kind of relationship my parents enjoy — an ideal it feels impossible to emulate — hadn’t left me happy.
”That same year, I had also had a serious gynaecological operation that had left me feeling fragile and with an enormous scar. I wanted to reclaim my body and find out what did make me happy.”
Desperate to find something that would excite her, she downloaded Hinge and Feeld – a dating app ”aimed at those who want to pursue non-traditional relationships, such as polyamory or threesomes”.
Five signs your neighbour’s a swinger
How well do you REALLY know your neighbours?
From a gravelled driveway to a fruity knocker on the door, here’s what to look for if you think the people next door might be kinky swingers.
- Pampas grass,
- White graven on the driveway,
- Pineapple door knob,
- Garden gnomes,
- Hot tubs.
But it wasn’t matches from singletons the young woman ended up with – there were also plenty of couples seeking threesomes who were showing interest.
”Single women willing to have sex with couples are known as unicorns because they are incredibly rare, and it was rather exciting to be in demand.
”I met up with two couples, but found the encounters made me feel lonely. Being a gooseberry on a cinema trip is bad enough — imagine how awkward it can be in bed.”
Luckily, Feeld is also where the woman met her current boyfriend – and after realising they were attracted to one another outside the bedroom as well, the pair agreed to move to a monogamous relationship… ”of sorts”.
Sex is an arena where I can be my confident, fun self, without emotion, commitment or judgment
Swinger
”It would be loving and committed, but it would also include nights when we were allowed to have sex with strangers, so long as we were together,” she explained to Daily Mail.
Despite enjoying the encounters, she confessed that there was a degree of jealousy when she saw her dear boyfriend ” kissing and caressing another woman”.
”But for me, sex is an arena where I can be my confident, fun self, without emotion, commitment or judgment — and where I know I can make men putty in my hands.
”I know what gives me (and them) pleasure, and it’s empowering.
”What’s especially interesting to me and to younger body-positive swingers is the broad range of shapes, sizes and anatomies you see at parties. Men find them all sexually desirable.”
There are also strict rules to follow at the kinky parties – and ensuring safe sex is non-negotiable, which means consent at all times, as well as using condoms and testing for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
The couple too have set their very own boundaries – swapping with partners only when they share the same room and pursuing a pair they both find attractive.
”Without clear communication and agreed boundaries, your relationship will stand very little chance if you pursue this lifestyle.”’