Trump Considers Cabinet Role for Dumbest Senator in the Country

The most stubborn man in the Senate is rumored to be in the running for secretary of transportation.

Alabama Republican and former college football coach Tommy Tuberville’s name was mentioned for the Cabinet position. In response, Tuberville’s office told Reuters, “If there was a position where he could be more impactful for both Alabama and the country he would listen, but he believes that President Trump needs a sledgehammer in the Senate and right now he is focused on playing that role.”

But Tuberville has been more of a blockade than a sledgehammer during his Senate tenure. Tuberville spent nearly all of 2023 inexplicably and single-handedly blocking more than 450 military promotions, leading to widespread chaos within the U.S. military. He justified this blockade by stating that he was protesting the Pentagon’s abortion policy, which allows service members to be reimbursed if they are forced to leave their state of deployment to access an abortion. Tuberville was lambasted by Democrats and Republicans alike and eventually dropped his protest last December, leaving the policy in place and his colleagues incensed.

Tuberville has also refused to acknowledge that white nationalists are indeed racist, stating that the definition of white nationalism is a matter of personal opinion. His co-workers said he wasn’t racist, just very stupid.

“I do not believe that Tommy Tuberville is a racist at all,” an anonymous senator said. “I really believe that maybe he doesn’t have an understanding of the English language.”

These are not encouraging words regarding our potential secretary of transportation.