'Trying to lose': Trump says ex-NFL player who fumbled his name will lead missile defense

Donald Trump says a former football player who mistakenly told voters to cast ballots for the former president's eldest son will be put in charge of missile defense should the Republican nominee be reelected on Nov. 5.

Trump raised eyebrows Sunday during his Georgia rally when he claimed that former National Football League running back Herschel Walker would be granted a highly responsible role in his administration.

"We will build a missile defense shield," Trump said. "We’ll put Herschel Walker in charge of that little sucker."

Walker, a Trump supporter whose 2022 senatorial bid failed as reports rolled in he paid for partners to have abortions despite claiming to oppose the procedure and lied about having a military career, had introduced the former president earlier that evening.

"It stops on Tuesday," Walker said, "when we vote for my friend and your friend Donald Trump Jr."

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During his speech, Trump also said he would appoint anti-vaccine conspiracy theorist Robert F. Kennedy Jr., whose own campaign collapsed when he confessed to staging a fake bear cub crime scene, to cover a slew of important responsibilities.

"I said, Bobby, you work on women's health," Trump said. "You work on health, you work on what we eat, you work on pesticides."

This spurred independent journalist Aaron Rupar to resort to dark humor.

"RFK Jr in charge of women's health," wrote Rupar, "Herschel Walker running the Space Force. Only the best people."

"Herschel Walker can’t construct a full sentence," added attorney Janet Johnson. "let alone a missile defense shield."

"Bringing back Herschel Walker is the kind of s--- I would do if I were trying to lose an election," wrote political journalist Louis Peitzman, "but what do I know."

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