My hubby left to ‘find himself’ but had really found another woman

DEAR DEIDRE: I returned home to find a note on the kitchen table from my husband saying he had left me.

He said it wasn’t anything I had done, he just needed to “find” himself.

It was all so sudden. I had no idea he was planning to do this. He is 36 and I am 34. We have been together for six years – happily, I thought.

Since he left I have discovered that what he actually found was another woman.

According to a mutual friend, this woman is pregnant by my husband and they have got engaged.

What makes it worse is that I am also pregnant, with our baby girl due in a couple of months. We had been trying for a baby for a while but I suffered a miscarriage, which devastated both of us.

My husband can’t marry the other woman while married to me and I do not want a divorce.

I am constantly worried about the house and money. I don’t know how I am going to manage.

I also worry that my baby will be an afterthought when my husband’s other child is born, even though these babies will be half-siblings. I am heartbroken about what has happened.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband has taken the coward’s way out. He can’t walk away from his responsibility to help maintain his baby and hopefully be an involved, though separate, dad.

Being pregnant makes you vulnerable and anxious but you can’t make him return.

As hard as it will be initially, you need to focus on survival, taking care of your health and needs and in turn those of your unborn baby.

It will take time but you will start to regain your confidence, and later, you will be happier and more secure if you start to plan for separate lives.

The website gov.uk/child-maintenance-service has lots of information on how much support you could expect.