'Most embarrassing thing ever': Critics mock Vance's mini golf 'fight or flight' story

Sen. J.D. Vance's miniature golf "fight or flight" response to the first assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump's life — revealed Thursday on The Joe Rogan Podcast — was met with the seriousness that a miniature golf "fight or flight" response demands.

"Can't begin to tell you how many times I've gone into fight or flight mode at the mini-golf place," replied Huffington Post reporter Sebastian Murdoch. "Most relatable vance has ever been."

Vance told Rogan he was playing miniature golf with his children in Cincinnati on July 13 when he learned gunman Thomas Crooks fired at Trump during a rally in Butler, Pennsylvania.

"I go into, like, fight or flight mode with my kids," Vance said. "Grab my kids up, throw them in the car, and go home and load all my guns," Vance added, "and basically stand like a sentry at our front door."

Scott Hines, author of the newsletter Action Cookbook, replied on X this is the reaction he would expect from Trump's running mate.

"Vance is exactly the kind of guy who would describe s----ing his pants at a mini golf place as 'fight or flight mode,'" Hines wrote.

Josh Marshall, founder of Talking Points Memo, questioned the Ohio Republican's decision to share this personal family moment with the public.

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"This is the most embarrassing thing I've ever heard," said Marshall. "In like the few seconds he might have thought Trump had died he went full fight or flight 'left the mini-golf' place, went on sentry duty outside his house. what?"

But Jonah Goldberg, editor-in-chief of the Dispatch, questioned the veracity of Vance's narrative.

"I'd bet he's making this up." Goldberg wrote. "But if it's true, it's really weird. He wasn't the VP nominee then, he was junior senator. I assume that in either the real or fictional story, he stood sentry after his kids came home from mini-golf, since he left them there."

While Vance makes plain in the podcast that he brought his children home, Goldberg wasn't the only commenter to jokingly suggest he left them behind.

"So he thought Trump might have been killed, and his response was to abandon his children at the mini-golf course, drive home, barricade his doors and load up all of his guns like a psychopath?" wrote Democratic activist Andrew Wortman. "He’s either lying about this (disqualifying), or he’s actually insane (disqualifying)."