My sister is cheating & I want to tell her husband – people think I’m jealous, & I’m not, but I do think he’s perfect
NO one ever wants to find themselves in the unenviable position of having to cover for a cheating sibling, but that’s precisely the dilemma Aurelie faces.
She recently discovered that her sister has been unfaithful to her brother-in-law and is now at a loss about what steps to take next.
In her quest for guidance, the woman, who has chosen to remain anonymous, turned to the online forum Mumsnet to seek advice from other parents.
She asked another user if she was “being unreasonable” to want to tell her brother-in-law that “my sister is cheating” even though her sister confessed to her in confidence.
In a detailed post, Aurelie wrote: “I have been reading on this forum for months and now I have something I need advice on.
“My sister and I are very close and always have been.
“She is perfect, has a perfect house, perfect children and a perfect husband.
“After my marriage ended, I moved in with her, and since he works night shifts, I spent a lot of time with him and the children during the day.”
The sibling went on to explain how her sister actually confessed to her about her cheating on her husband.
Aurelie continued: “She told me about two weeks ago that she has been seeing a man for roughly a month and thinks about leaving her husband but wants some time with the other man to be sure.
“I am so shocked! I can’t believe her. She has a perfect man that loves her and does everything for her.
“I am close to him and cannot look him in the eyes now, especially since he always talks about her.
“I feel like telling him because he does not deserve that. But at the same time, I don’t want to lose my sister. She trusts me. What would you do?”
The post gained a lot of attention, with 79 per cent of Mumsnet users voting against her and saying that she was being unreasonable.
Others rushed to the comments section to share their thoughts.
One wrote: “Keep out of it. She’s your sister and always will be.
Sorry that my sister is ruining her life for a short affair
The anonymous sister
“You could spend a lifetime regretting it if you open your mouth.”
Another added: “Well maybe he isn’t that perfect?
“Not your marriage. Keep out of it because that’s the way to preserve your relationship with both of them.
“If you tell him and they split, she will never forget it.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
“If you tell him and they salvage the relationship neither will want you about, you’ll be too much of a reminder.
“Nose out, avoid the drama, wait and see.”
A third said: “You sound jealous of her. You sound like you’ve got a crush on her dh (darling husband) too. Say nothing and find somewhere else to live.”
The sister felt she needed to justify herself, so after these comments she added how she felt in the thread.
She said: “I don’t feel any attraction towards him. I just feel worried and sorry that my sister is ruining her life for a short affair.”
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