Tales from the Coffeeshop: Prezniktwo desperately hoping transparency will prove unconstitutional

IF THERE are any people who still believe Prezniktwo actually means what he says, they should get their personal doctor to book an appointment with a brain specialist to have their head examined, because there must be something wrong.

One of his most oft-repeated election pledges was transparency and accountability. Yet since entering the presidential palace, he has treated both with complete disdain. For months he refused to give the names of the friends, relatives and supporters he hired as advisors, absurdly claiming it would be a violation of personal data.

He eventually gave in to the political and media pressure, grudgingly releasing the names and the salary each was being paid. It was transparency on public demand rather than as government policy.

He has taken a much more principled stand against transparency with regard to his Mrs’ Social Support Agency, refusing to sign the law by the legislature which would force the agency to disclose the names of donors who gave more than five grand. The law was referred to the Supreme Constitutional Court, in the hope that it would rule the transparency the prez promised, unconstitutional.

THE FUND was set up by former first lady Andri Anastasiades in 2014 in order to help students whose families had fallen on hard times because of the recession. By the time Nik I left office she had raised €4.2m of which €500,000 was donated by the Saudi Arabian who was issued 41 passports for his extended family, including two wives, and offered the free use of his private jet to the prez.

The current first lady of Kyproulla, Philippa KC, managed to raise €2.2m in the first nine months of the first gentleman’s presidency. In nine months she raised half what Andri had raised in nine years, suggesting the first family will have a big war chest for buying votes, helping needy and not so needy students as well as friends and supporters.

All sorts of lame arguments have been made against transparency apart from the legal ones, but the very best is that disclosure would discourage people and businesses from making donations. Presumably people would feel ashamed of giving money to help needy students. The palace may be afraid that if it gives in now, deputies can then demand to know who is benefiting from the first lady’s charity as well.

THE POOR old finance minister, Makis Keravnos, seems to be suffering from a similar disease to the president: never meaning anything he says. This might not be entirely his fault as he has to obey the crazy decisions of the people-pleaser prez, who is intent on spending money with the same recklessness as comrade Tof.

After meetings with union reps and then with parties backing the government, the prez said new measures for helping people deal with the high cost of living would be taken. This was in spite of Keravnos saying a few weeks ago the government should not interfere in the operation of the market.

Presenting the 2025 budget last Monday at the House, Keravnos said the public payroll, which will reach a record €4.2bn next year, was a cause for concern. If it was, why had he agreed to give a 1.5 per cent pay rise to all public parasites who receive automatic pay increments every year anyway? He also said that he would have discussions on how CoLA could be rationalised, after the government’s irrational decision to increase it last year.

PERM SEC at the finance ministry Giorgos Panteli, a highly respected technocrat, was moved to the education ministry on Friday, in what has been described as a punitive transfer by the presidential palace. It was a demotion as the finance ministry’s perm sec is regarded as the top civil servant. It was the first ever time such a decision was taken.

Was this because Panteli had occasionally argued against the government’s reckless spending? Or was it because he expressed reservations about the Great Sea Interconnector at a House committee meeting? Press reports suggest that Keravnos did not want him moved from his post, but the decision was taken by prez’s inner circle.

It is rumoured that the under-secretary to the president, Irini Piki, who wields great power thanks to her close friendship with Philippa KC, may have played a part in the decision. Piki had been Panteli’s underling at the ministry, before she was made the prez’s lieutenant, and may have wanted to show him who the boss is now.

NOBODY would have been surprised with the findings of an internet survey carried out by Politis asking who people considered the “most honest president our country had, since the birth of the Cyprus Republic”.

The winner, by far, was Glafcos Clerides who was backed by 52 per cent of respondents, way ahead of second-placed George Vass who got 20 per cent. No prizes for guessing that Nik I was at the bottom of the list, just above zero. One per cent of the population actually thought he was the most honest prez, which was quite remarkable in itself.

Spy Kyp was just above him on two per cent, while the once venerated Makarios was third from bottom with just five per cent of respondents considering him the most honest prez. To be fair, most of his supporters are now six feet under, while those born after 1974 will have no opinion about him. And to a lesser extent this also applies to Kyp from whom we were freed in 1988.

Such excuses cannot be made for Nik I, who can argue – with justification – that not being considered the most honest prez by people does not necessarily make him the most dishonest prez the country had. I suspect the paper did not ask who people considered the most dishonest prez the country had, to avoid libel suits. In Kyproulla the law allows the dead to file a libel suit.

ANOTHER finding of the poll would have raised the spirits of 2028 presidential hopeful Odysseas, who was considered by the majority of respondents (40 per cent) “the most suitable to stand for the presidency in 2028”. Not far behind with 38 per cent backing was Paphos mayor Phed Express, while Averof came third with 32 per cent.

Of the 13 names suggested, eight were considered more suitable than Prezniktwo, who was deemed less suitable than his interior minister, Constantinos Ioannou, who could be leaving the government as a result. It must have been rather galling for the prez to consider that after just 20 months in office only 14 per cent of people consider him most suitable for the job next time round. Even Akel battleaxe, Irini Charalambidou is considered more suitable than he is.

There was more good news for Odysseas. If he set up a party and stood in the 2026 parliamentary elections, it would come second, just two percentage points behind Disy on 19 per cent. The only question is whether he would find 55 incorruptible Cypriots who meet his extremely high moral standards to stand for his anti-corruption party.

ODYSSEAS may have been kicked out of his family business – also known as the public sector – which still employs his sister and his niece (and until retirement his dad), but he announced his employment as a lecturer at the School of Business Administration of the European University.

His omniscience and 10 years’ experience in running the family business, made of corrupt, thieving and self-serving parasites constantly undermining him, point to a glowing career in academia, until he decides to enter politics and lead us to the promised land.

WHO WOULD ever have thought that a Cyprus government would be demanding that the duplicitous, Turk-loving, back-stabbing Brits were present at Cyprob negotiations? If anyone said this in the past, it would have been considered a joke. Why demand the presence of the Brits, who are forever laying Cyprob traps for the Greek Cypriots?

Our prez had demanded the presence of Britain at the informal broad meeting that will be called by the UNSG and will be attended by Greece and Turkey. Our negotiator, Menelaos Menelaou echoed the prez in a radio interview this week, saying Britain must participate in the conference.

Is it just because Turks don’t want the Brits at the five-party conference that our government believes they should be there? And is it not afraid of how Phil’s unforgiving Brit-bashers will react to this love-in with perfidious Albion?

LEADING Brit-basher, Costas Venizelos, even spotted a sinister British influence at the dinner hosted by the UN secretary-general in New York. Under the headline, “Dinner with an English taste,” he wrote that the first dish was “New England crab cakes”, and “some were quick to mention that the choice was not accidental.”

They (not him) “said that the choice sent messages to all those who wanted to forget the English (can the English be forgotten?)” Venizelos may be a very knowledgeable political analyst, but his knowledge of geography seems to be lacking. New England is the region made up of six states in northeastern US. The dinner was in fact with an American taste.

DEPUTY minister for European Affairs, Marilena Raouna, has learnt the presidential rhetoric very fast. Speaking at an embassy event on Tuesday, she repeated the prez’s meaningless catch-phrase that “Cyprus is not part of the problem” at least twice. She was referring to war in the Middle East that nobody has ever suggested the pylon of stability ever played any part in.

Meanwhile Prezniktwo took the catchphrase of his Foreign Minister Constantinos Kombos, about expanding our diplomatic footprint to another level. He said he was “proud that Cyprus possesses a powerful geostrategic footprint, which the government is utilising systematically to end the occupation”. It was not only this. Our “diplomatic horizon was being broadened as well as the factors of power” of Kyproulla.

He has also broadened the horizon of his delusions of grandeur.