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2024

I want to move in with my boyfriend after three years – but he is not ready

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DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER three years, my boyfriend still isn’t ready for us to move in together

He isn’t up for that type of commitment – so what is the point?

I am 26 and my boyfriend is 27. I want the whole deal – a dog, the house, babies, marriage.

But whenever I bring up moving in, he puts it off.

Last night I asked what the problem is and he finally admitted he isn’t ready for us to live together.

All my friends are forging on with their life and yet we are stuck. It’s annoying.

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Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

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We live separately with our parents, often spending the night together.

I know he was with his previous girlfriend for the same amount of time as us and they didn’t live together either.

Will he ever be ready?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t get caught up in other people’s expectation of what stage of life you should be at.

Just because you have been together for three years doesn’t mean you should automatically move on to the next stage.

Have a good think about what works for you.

Talk to him when you are feeling calm and ask if something in particular is holding him back, and if he thinks there will come a time when he is ready.

But if you are sure this is what you want and he’s still not budging, you will have to decide if this is where you part ways. My support pack When Your Man Won’t Commit explains more.