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2024

My health condition makes sex painful – no matter what position we try

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DEAR DEIDRE: SEX with my partner is a pain in the neck . . . and the back . . . and the knees.

I have arthritis and every time we try to make love, I have to stop because it hurts.

Now I’m starting to lose my sex drive too.

I’m 53 and he’s 48. We’ve been together two years.

My arthritis used to be manageable but lately it’s got worse, and painkillers don’t touch it.

I really want to be intimate with my partner but every sexual position we try leaves me in agony.

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Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

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He gets upset because he doesn’t want to hurt me.

Are there any comfortable positions we can try or should I give up on sex?

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DEIDRE SAYS: If sex is painful, it’s no wonder you’re losing your libido. Don’t give up.

My support pack, Best Positions For You, may help you find a way that works for you.

Experiment with different ones until you find something.

The charity Versus Arthritis has helpful information about sex on its website (versusarthritis.org).

Do talk to your doctor about medication, too.