This is what it’s like to work in the death industry

Hey y’all, it’s Alice. I’m a producer on “This Is Uncomfortable.” Earlier this year, when I was brainstorming for our 10th season, I noticed one theme coming up over and over again: grief. 

There’s this decision you have to make when you’re swimming in the ocean and see a big wave coming: You either fight against it, bracing your body and hoping you don’t get knocked over, or you dive under and feel its power move over you. Making this three-part series was our way of facing grief and letting it wash over us. 

First, we hear about a mysterious inheritance, and then we explore the way we care and grieve for our pets. In this final episode, host Reema Khrais speaks with Joél Simone Maldonado, who has worked for decades in the world of funerals and grief.

When I’m producing an interview, it’s usually pretty routine. My camera is off and my Zoom is muted. I’m taking notes and making sure we’re getting answers to all the questions. But every once in a while, the interview takes on a life of its own, and I find myself listening with reverence, thinking, “I can’t believe I get to bear witness to this.” This was one of those interviews. 

Defend your splurge with “Hang Up” host Zakiya Gibbons

Money messes with all our lives, but the right purchase at the right time can make things a little better. Tell us how you’ve treated yourself lately by replying to this email, and we’ll include the best stories in our newsletter!

This week’s splurge comes from podcaster and writer Zakiya Gibbons. She’s the host and story editor of “Hang Up,” Radiotopia’s podcast twist on reality dating shows. She wrote to us defending her splurge on some Philips Hue smart bulbs ($160 for a starter kit). Here’s Zakiya:

Ever since I was a wee child, I’d stare deeply at any colored lights — siren lights, Christmas lights, concert lights — feeling my retinas sting until my eyesight was splotchy. I love a soft, warm light too, like a candle or firelight. Lights give me a physiological response: The right light can give me warm fuzzies, make me feel like I’m on shrooms or get me hyped and ready to party. That’s why I’m obsessed with my Philips Hue smart LED light bulbs.

Before 2020, my apartment was just a place I’d sleep. I was always out and about and didn’t spend much time at home, so I never really invested the time and money into my decor. But when I was forced to stay inside those same four walls completely by myself, I craved a feeling of comfort and home. I started decorating my apartment, and the Philips Hue bulb was a game changer. The lightbulbs connect to an app on your phone, so you can change the color manually on a color wheel. I’d adjust the colors depending on my mood or what I was watching on TV — a warm magenta or peach when I want to chill out; green, blue or purple when I’m watching a sci-fi movie.

During a depressing and scary quarantine, it was hard to maintain my self-care, like washing my face and brushing my teeth before bed. So I paired those healthy habits with the lights as a treat. Instead of fighting to peel myself off my couch, I couldn’t wait to switch to my soft, peachy-pink light that signaled it was time to start my evening self-care routine. 

Now that we’re leaving our houses again, lighting is a big part of my hosting. I love inviting friends for dinner, game nights, movie nights. In addition to offering them water, wine and food, I hand houseguests my phone and ask them to choose whatever color speaks to them.

I feel like a mom watching her kid open Christmas presents when my friends play with the app, excitedly perusing all the colors until they land on one. In a world where I often feel out of control, I love that I can control the lights and colors in my home, bring myself some happiness and peace, and share that same feeling with others, even if it is just a light. 

The Comfort Zone

What our team is reading, watching and listening to this week:

• Columbia University’s Center for Prolonged Grief has some good resources if you’re struggling.
• Just one of many fascinating articles we read to prep this series: “Black Churches and Green Funerals” 
• As mentioned on the show, Reema’s been reading “When Things Fall Apart.”
• And Zoë just finished “Gilead,” a beautiful novel infused with grief and grace.
• From The Atlantic: “The Marilynne Robinson Paragraph That Helped Dina Nayeri Handle Loss.”
• Some ways to help those impacted by Hurricane Helene.
• This stretch of road in Pennsylvania is an urbanist meme, but it’s actually an economic problem for the town it’s in.
• Are you watching “English Teacher”? If you’re a fan, check out Brian Jordan Alvarez’s web series from a few years back.
• What do you do if an AI chatbot asks you what your greatest weakness is?
• New research says money can, in fact, buy happiness, even if you’re already rich.
• Let’s end with a great song from an album about grief, Japanese Breakfast’s debut “Psychopomp.”