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Moo Deng All the Way Down

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Video: Vulture; Jubilee, khamoo.andthegang, Leticia Sarda, Nikocado Avocado

If I had a nickel for every time there was a viral baby hippo, I’d have two nickels. If only we could be so lucky to have a month filled with an increasing number of Moo Dengs and not what we really got this September, which was one Moo Deng, then a toxic cocktail of Sally Rooney discourse, Chappell Roan discourse, and NYC mayoral-indictment discourse. By the end of it all, I was dreaming of the me who existed three weeks ago and thought Nikocado Avocado’s (supposed) weight loss was going to be the wildest thing to show up on the timeline.

And for you, maybe it was. Maybe words like “Bridgerton-fan-event pole dancer” and “yet another Lil Tay hoax” never reached your algorithm. We build our “For You” pages brick by brick, but some bricks are more cursed than others. To see if your September was really as internet-poisoned as it felt, we created a quiz. For each online moment that you saw on your feed, you earn the corresponding number of points. Add them all up to find out if you’re more a demure offline princess (Fiona the Hippo) or a chaotic screaming meme queen (Moo Deng).

+1 Point

Tapped by Taylor

The second presidential debate going “better” than the first is a pretty low bar, but democracy got an additional win when Taylor Swift used it as a peg to (finally) endorse Kamala Harris and post a link to register to vote in her Instagram Stories. In the 24 hours it was live, the General Services Administration reported the link received about 406,000 clicks. The endorsement prompted Donald Trump to post “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT” on his online platform, Truth Social, and Elon Musk to threaten to impregnate the singer on his own platform, X. In other words, just another week on this hell internet.

Hippo, so confusing

A second viral hippo has hit social media. In this case, it’s Moo Deng, a pygmy hippo who lives in Khao Kheow Open Zoo in Thailand, and who won the hearts of millions — perhaps billions — of Twitter and TikTok scrollers who can’t help relate to her wet, screaming vulnerability in every photo that captures her. The frenzy has become so animated that not only is the zoo trademarking her likeness, but it’s limited visits to see Moo Deng to just five minutes to prevent overcrowding. Like Chappell Roan, Moo Deng has shot to stardom fast, so we asked the Cincinnati Zoo, where her predecessor, Fiona the Hippo, resides, for some words of advice:

“The Cincinnati Zoo is thrilled to see Moo Deng following in Fiona’s footsteps as another hippo ambassador! Baby hippos have a special place in people’s hearts! Fiona, now 7 years old, has an equally charming 2-year-old brother, Fritz. By seeing these beloved animals, we hope to raise awareness about wildlife conservation and inspire efforts to protect their natural habitats.”

+2 Points

Kidstagram

Turns out all you need to do to get Instagram to listen to outcry about its effects on younger users is to expose internal documents about its negative effects on teen girls, write an entire book about how social media is harming children, and threaten legislation that was going to demand it makes many of these changes anyway. Put it all together, and you get Instagram’s new teen accounts, which began rolling out on September 17 to restrict viewable content for users under 16, who they can talk to, and how much time they can spend scrolling. While this is good news for humanity, it might not be good news for Instagram. The app is already struggling to retain its cache among the younger generation, and, like the kids’ table at weddings or “under 18” events, there’s nothing teens hate more than being treated like children.

Why It’s a 2: While this move shows Instagram is listening to the backlash, the restricting of teen accounts seems more geared toward pleasing politicians than addressing the root causes, because there’s still so little data to turn to. In other words, it’s going to make a lot of headlines but likely not a whole lot of change.

Out with a mukbang

When mukbang YouTuber Nikocado Avocado revealed on September 6 that he had lost 250 pounds, even the New York Times wrote it up. He called his extreme weight gain over the past decade a “social experiment” and claimed he spent the past two years posting pre-filmed videos while steadily losing weight in order to stun viewers with a grand reveal. The weeks since have been filled with disbelief with viewers trying to figure out if the creator truly made such a dramatic change or if this is just a viral stunt. The jury’s still out, because the 32-year-old returned to social media on the 18th with a video that appears to show him at his full weight, claiming to have once again pulled one over on the audience. In the words of a TikTok commenter, “I give up.”

Why It’s a 2: Nikocado Avocado, with his 4.6 million YouTube subscribers, has been a topic of concern for some time. The creator had been accused of “eating himself to death” for views, as followers watched him appear to lose mobility and require a CPAP machine to breathe. Prominent media outlets were quick to cover the initial stunt, but most have not addressed his reversal. They, too, “give up.”

Beast mode

In Netflix’s fictional universe, Squid Game is a deadly series of challenges in which normies compete in tasks dictated by a mysterious and rich mastermind. Beast Games attempted to replicate the series in our actual universe, but the mysterious and rich mastermind behind it all was … 26-year-old YouTuber MrBeast. So, yes, there are lawsuits. On September 18, the New York Times reported that five anonymous contestants had filed a lawsuit against MrBeast’s production company and Amazon MGM studios alleging “dangerous circumstances and conditions.” This ranged from inadequate food and medical care to falsifying information for tax credits and failing to properly compensate participants. “I just left feeling really insignificant and mistreated and traumatized,” one defendant told the outlet. “I still haven’t gotten paid. I just hope that no one else ever has to go through this.” You mean, sign up for an elaborate series of competitions orchestrated by the Elon Musk of YouTube creators? I’ll do my best.

Why It’s a 2: No matter how hard we try to keep MrBeast out of the Zeitgeist, he’s Red Light, Green Light–ing his way in anyway.

+3 Points

Gagged by Gaga

Like her fictional counterpart in the upcoming sequel, Lady Gaga also has a Joker origin story. On September 10, a TikTok video shared a screenshot of an alleged Facebook group titled “Stefani Germanotta, you will never be famous.” Gaga, real name Stefani Germanotta, commented the next day that the group had been made by some people she went to college with. “This is why you can’t give up when people doubt you or put you down — gotta keep going,” she wrote.

Yes, you must keep going, even when it comes to light that the Facebook group in question might not have been exactly, well, real. Gaga attended NYU Tisch for one year before leaving in 2005, but Facebook Groups did not exist until 2010. While colleges did have access to groups at that time, as Vulture pointed out, the group in the screenshot looks much closer to 2010 Facebook than 2005. And don’t even try finding it yourself — multiple groups with that name have been made over the years as this lore circulated. Plus you probably don’t remember your Facebook password anyway.

Why It’s a 3: While prominent outlets like Variety and Entertainment Weekly wrote up Gaga’s initial response, they took the group’s existence as fact. Real stans knew the truth — or really, real millennials.

DeuxMoi dragged

This just in: Invasive Instagram celebrity-gossip account demands privacy. After a Taylor Swift fan account posted a handful of pixels that I’m supposed to believe are a picture of Swift and boyfriend Travis Kelce, the Deuxmoi’s X account said, actually, that Sasquatch-found-footage ass still is hers. “Can you please delete this,” the account wrote. “This is a picture we posted just for IG subscribers.” The Swiftie, in typical Swiftie fashion, did not back down.

While this is technically a legitimate gripe — someone took a photo from a private channel and posted it publicly — to claim ownership of a picture you didn’t take, that is of celebrities who did not consent, that you are still charging people to access, is arguably much more egregious.

Why It’s a 3: Like it or not, Deuxmoi has become a seemingly permanent fixture in celebrity gossip. Luckily, however, she’s one who can be bested by a simple Shift-Command-4.

Lost for Latto

One Latto fan just went from “Brokey” to … actually broke. On September 15, the rapper challenged her fans to make a music video at their job to her latest single, “Brokey.” The winner would receive $10,000 — and it turns out they’d need it, because Yadira Ramirez’s viral video ended up costing her her job. While she received over 23 million views for the elaborate video filmed at her job at an Atlanta Waffle House, the next day she shared with TikTok that she had been fired over the stunt. “I’m glad I put six years in a company that would fire me and literally a day of posting one video — one video that harms nobody that everybody was actually literally rooting for and happy about,” she said.

While the Waffle House door had closed, another one opened — to the recording studio with Latto. In a video posted on September 24, Ramirez filmed herself dancing with Latto under a shower of bills. All she needs next is an Eggo sponsorship, and justice will have been served.

Why It’s a 3: In just five days, a community of Latto fans got Ramirez from the syrup to the studio. And when you have The Shade Room on your side, anything is possible.

+4 Points

Skinny not-so legend

Thinspo, but make it girl boss. That’s essentially “fitness” creator Liv Schmidt’s ethos. The 22-year-old creator and NYC resident became notorious this year for her videos encouraging calorie restriction and the unabashed pursuit of thinness for corporate women who work at their desks all day. “It’s not a sin to want to be thin. Saving America from obesity 1 person @ a time,” her bio read, according to a September 16 profile in The Wall Street Journal. However, when WSJ reached out to TikTok for comment about Schmidt’s account, it was subsequently disabled due to a “community guidelines violation,” likely the promotion of disordered eating.

The ban was celebrated by others on TikTok who had been pushing back against Schmidt for months, posting content like “eat froyo with me because creators like Liv Schmidt still have a platform.” However, Schmidt has created a new account to fight back against TikTok’s decision. “I was gonna show you guys my healthy groceries of the week, but you lost the privilege,” she says in a September 15 video on her new account. She has, however, continued to post body checks, step counts, and daily calorie counts.

Why It’s a 4: The danger of videos like Schmidt’s is how they simmer in the background undetected but still perpetuate a negative approach to food that can encourage viewers, particularly adolescents, to develop eating disorders. While getting banned is notable, the problem is what she’ll continue to do in the shadows around it.

Jousting for jubilee

If you’d like to DIY your own aneurysm, then I’d recommend loading up the Jubilee YouTube account and hitting “play all.” But if you just want a minor stroke, then you can tune in to some of the viral-clipped moments that made the rounds this month ahead of the November presidential election. On September 8, Jubilee Media released an episode of “Surrounded,” in which Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk debated 20 “woke college kids” about everything from abortion to trans rights. It goes about how you’d expect, but a student named Maren emerged victorious on the internet when her “I’m speaking” outburst (complimentary) got the brat treatment on TikTok. Over on X, users were applauding 20-year-old Dean Withers for his well-informed rebuttals of Trump supporters who argued for his superiority over Kamala Harris. And over in my house, we’re sticking our fingers in our ears and singing until this is all over.

Why It’s a 4: Democracy dies in darkness, but I guess it lives on “Jubilee”?

+5 Points

Celebrity mambo No.6

The longest game of “Guess Who?” has come to an end. But instead of Sam or Sofia, it’s Sarda — Leticia Sarda, a 43-year-old former model whose face has mystified a Reddit group for the past five years. After Reddit user TontsaH posted in r/Movies asking if anyone could identify the celebrity faces printed in the fabric of his curtains, an entire spinoff sub-Reddit was formed called CelebrityNumberSix. While users had been able to discern Adriana Lima, Josh Holloway, Jessica Alba, Travis Fimmel, Ian Somerhalder, and Orlando Bloom, Sarda’s identity had eluded people for long enough that she was simply known as “Celebrity No. 6.” It was user StefanMorse who was able to digitally edit the image and run it through a search engine to produce Leticia Sarda after all these years, and it was user IndigoRoom who tracked down the original photographer and found the original image, which appeared in a 2006 Spanish magazine.

Sarda herself was interviewed by the New York Times, revealing she had quit modeling in 2009, moved to the Canary Islands to look after her grandmother, fell in love, and never came back. The biopic writes itself.

Why It’s a 5: This was an extremely niche online community that only exploded thanks to this viral moment, and yet, no one is talking about the most shocking reveal — these are curtains?

NaNoAIMo

On September 30, the National Novel Writing Month organization (known as NaNoWriMo) quietly made a statement on perhaps the most contentious issue currently facing writers: AI. While the goal of NaNoWriMo is for human participants to attempt to write 50,000 words in the month of November, a portion of the FAQ on the site’s Zendesk initially gave participants the green-light to use it in their work. Specifically, it claimed AI opponents were “classist” and “ableist” because AI can help people who don’t have the money to pay an editor or need help organizing their ideas.

This decision caused an uproar on X and TikTok. The threat of AI not only replacing their work but also using it to inform its own output becomes even more credible if institutions like NaNoWriMo seemingly encourage users to use it. Plus detractors felt that implying differently abled people would need AI to write fiction was a slap in the face to the many successful disabled writers who are creating today.

On September 11, the NaNoWriMo team members released a revised statement that clarified their position: “We absolutely believe that AI must be discussed and that its ethical use must be advocated for. What we don’t believe is that NaNoWriMo belongs at the forefront of that conversation.” While NaNoWriMo is about the pursuit of 50,000 words, in this case, they were better off saying 0.

Why It’s a 5: Like YA Twitter or BookTok, NaNoWriMo infighting is nearly unintelligible to those not caught up on years and years of lore. I wonder if there’s a piece of technology that could summarize it for you …