Love Is Blind Season-Premiere Recap: State of the Unions

My social media algorithm keeps trying to convince me that your thirties are where it’s at. Apparently your brain is done cooking, you start to understand what you want out of life, you don’t get as stressed about other people’s opinions, and you get hotter? Speaking as someone in her twenties … I want to go to there. Anyway, I bring this up because the average age of participants on this season of Love Is Blind is older than usual (the youngest people to get engaged are 29 and 27; everyone else is in their thirties). Does this mean that, as some fans have hoped, everyone will be more mature and likely to build genuine, lasting relationships? Ehhh. There’s still some unnecessary mess on the way to the engagements, and we start seeing a couple of cracks once we get to Cabo. But hey, that’s what keeps us watching, right? On that note, please open the pods, Lacheys. No, wait, Netflix needs us to see the guys singing “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” first. Ooh, I know a karaoke bar hates to see Garrett coming. Okay, now, open the pods!

This season introduces us to a cast of singles from D.C. (and Maryland and Virginia). As always, some people — including Nina and Tara, who had so much potential as Love Is Blind’s first-ever set of sisters — are destined to just be extras hanging out in the background. But we’ve got plenty of main characters, so let’s meet ‘em and unpack their pod paths:

Nick, Hannah, Leo, and Brittany 
Someone had to bring the drama, and these four delivered. Real estate agent Nick is all in on Hannah, who quit her job in medical device sales to be on the show. That’s one way to put pressure on yourself to secure a ring! But Nick’s where-my-hug-at energy is so strong that other women are actively telling her not to pick him, and Hannah breaks up with “Mr. Suave” to focus on her other connection. That would be Leo, an art dealer who took over his family business after several untimely deaths. He worries that women only want him for his money but also keeps bringing up the fact that he’s rich.

After esthetician/aspiring trophy wife Brittany accidentally lets slip that she’s also talking to Leo, Hannah suddenly wants Nick back. Leo’s definitely not giving her any assurances. It feels like he’s approaching his engagement from a business mindset, constantly keeping people anxious that he’s interested in another offer. That might be how you close a good deal, but is it how you open a good relationship?

Hannah ultimately decides that former football player Nick is the Travis Kelce to her Taylor Swift. When she breaks the news to Leo, he loses it faster than you can say sprezzatura. I understand questioning how much Hannah actually likes Nick, but it’s unsettling how angry Leo’s tone is. She’s sobbing while he’s raising his voice, demanding to know what she would say if he asked her to marry him right now. If! Hannah has made it clear that she needs someone who’s sure about her. He could’ve said, “I’ve realized that I love you and want to propose to you. If you still pick Nick, that’s okay. I’ll go home, but I want you to have the choice if it makes a difference.” To me, as long as Leo’s still keeping Brittany on the table, all his questions sound as meaningful as “What would you do if when you okay so he said yes would go?”

The next day, Leo apologizes to Hannah and asks if she “at least” forgives him. Also, he’s realized that he’s always loved Brittany; could Hannah pass that on? His brain fascinates me. Realizing she’s in control now, Brittany reads Leo a letter concluding that his indecision would taint any future relationship. I’m so proud of her … until Leo proposes and she instantly folds. Oh, Brittany. This reveal is hard to watch. Leo initiates a lot of physical contact; Brittany says mid-kiss that this is one of the most awkward moments of her life. She also admits that she doesn’t love him. What are we doing here? Love Is Blind is apparently wondering the same thing because a title card informs us that the producers did not send this couple to Mexico. I forgot they could do that, to be honest. We learn that he and Brittany did go on their own Miami trip as she requested, but ended their engagement “weeks later.” Well, at least now she qualifies for Perfect Match. I feel like she’d have more fun there.

As for Hannah and Nick’s reveal? For all the worrying Hannah did in the pods about whether Nick expected her to look like a bikini model, she never seemed to doubt that she’d be physically attracted to him. She’s still nice to Nick in person but is definitely visibly processing that he isn’t as large and muscly as she expected/hoped. As they walk away from each other, he looks back. She doesn’t.

Marissa, Ramses, and Bohdan
Now this is a better example of how to handle a love triangle. Law clerk Marissa is dating Bohdan and Ramses. Apart from the fact that they’ve both been divorced, the guys are pretty different. Bohdan, who works in tech sales, shares Marissa’s military background, love for fantasy books, and lively personality. Ramses, a program coordinator for a justice reform nonprofit, is more mellow. He impresses Marissa by saying that masculinity is what he makes it. Marissa’s upfront about having strong connections with both of her options. But during her pod dates, she keeps the conversation focused on the person she’s with. Ultimately, she picks Cancer-Leo-Leo Ramses. Even though Bohdan wasn’t expecting that, he doesn’t get defensive or upset, still yelling his signature “woo!” after the breakup. See how easy that was, Leo?

Ramses gives a characteristically vulnerable, poetic proposal. His reveal with Marissa is my favorite, mostly because they’re so excited that they almost forget he has to give her the ring. They also just look really cute together.

Taylor and Garrett 
Ah, yes, our resident nerds (non-derogatory). Of course the quantum physicist with a Heisenberg principle tattoo ends up proposing to the clean energy policy consultant with a hydrogen molecule tattoo. There’s a slight hiccup when Garrett suggests during a date that Olivia Munn Taylor comes across as calculating for not telling him her mom’s name or sharing her ethnicity. But after she explains that she doesn’t want to give away anything about her appearance, he’s back on board. When he wants to have kids a little sooner than Taylor’s avocado-tree timeline, she’s also open to adjusting her plans. They communicate well, and despite his earnest Shrek comparison, she clearly likes him.

Taylor makes Garrett work for it, but eventually agrees to be his girlfriend via a check-yes-or-no note. Before he proposes, she also shares sweet love letters from her grandparents and reads him what sounds like fully-fledged vows. There’s still a bit of awkwardness during their reveal, but these two also seem like the type to just need more time to get comfortable.

Monica and Stephen
You know those videos of unlikely animal friends? That’s how I feel about this pair. Like, huh, okay. I might not have put them together, but as long as they’re happy? Electrician Stephen is possibly the first blue-collar worker that sales executive Monica has ever dated. He reminds me of a French bulldog (specifically this one), and Monica thinks the world of him. Yes, he voted for Trump in 2016 … but he changed his mind by 2020. Yes, he emotionally cheated on an ex because he thought he wasn’t good enough for her … but he’s so hard on himself about it. But her favorite story by far, which she repeats even during his proposal, is that when Stephen found out he’s three-tenths-ish Black, he rushed to the library to check out books on African culture. This makes him the most curious, kind-hearted man she knows, aside from maybe her dad. They seem satisfied during the reveal, and I like that they both give each other a little twirl.

Ashley and Tyler
The main thing we learn about marketing director Ashley in the pods is that she’s an amazing active listener, nodding and mmhm!-ing as account manager Tyler shares everything from a personalized prayer for their relationship to his experience being raised by a single mom. Tyler leaves their dates beaming like a kid in a Robux store, gushing about how safe Ashley makes him feel and carrying her blanket around as a sign of his love. His proposal is sweet, and the reveal goes well. Ashley liked that Tyler was vulnerable enough to cry and admit when he was nervous in the pods. Because of that, she didn’t necessarily expect him to be a big guy with a beard and tats … but that all seems to be a bonus for her. She keeps the kisses very demure, which is honestly for the best because Tyler might’ve pulled a muscle if he cheesed any harder.

Alex and Tim 
Web content strategist Tim got the most tears from me this week for opening up so lovingly about his late sisters. He says producer Alex is an opportunity for him to give his parents another daughter and gifts her one of his sisters’ bracelets. Whew! Tim gets a little worried that his conversations with Alex are always heavy, so he’s relieved to find out that they can also banter about lighter stuff like their punny bird-and-bee paintings or golf skills. As soon as he sees Alex during the reveal, Tim crows, “I knew it! I knew you was fine.” I have to look away when he starts talking about being a dog, though. Alex’s face is a little harder to read, but she’s at least charmed enough by Tim to let his gleeful woof-woofs slide … for now.

Alright, time for our final six couples to pack their bags for Mexico!

In Cabo San Lucas, our couples are feeling each other out, emotionally and physically. For example, Marissa and Ramses have sex before dinner on the first night and are very clear about how much they liked it. Taylor and Garrett giggle over his tiny piece of mouth tape before kissing under the covers, and later also have a beach discussion acknowledging that words need to translate into actions and that trying to align their high-intensity lives in D.C. might introduce “problems.”

Meanwhile, Hannah and Nick are already having problems. At first, it seems like things are going well. She’s still suggesting that Nick kinda catfished her in the pods, but it seems like she’s warmed up to him, declaring in a confessional that she is physically attracted to him. (Yes, even after that random conversation about lip injections and whether she should get a boob job after having kids.) But the next morning, Nick rides a duck with an older woman who tells Hannah not to be jealous. Who is this diva? Nick just laughs and later goes for another solo duck ride. Hannah denies caring about the lady and says she still loves Nick but that the act of riding the duck wasn’t hot. “Guess what? It turned me on,” Nick says. Uh … okay! We later discover that Hannah went back to their room and wrote a physical list of issues she has with Nick, including that he’s “delulu,” immature, and not dedicated. Why not make a mental note?

Nick finds the list but doesn’t bring it up with Hannah until after he’s gotten some validation from his guys at the couples’ party. He describes the lady as “like 60” but still “bad.” But he says the interaction meant nothing. These two are good at compartmentalizing, I’ll give them that. How are y’all venting to your friends about the duck situation but also cracking jokes with each other about how you haven’t had sex yet, wink wink? They do end up talking about the list during and after the party, but the hurt feelings aren’t resolved on either side.

The rest of the party is actually really cute. Marissa and Ramses establish their dominance as the hottest couple, and the men each get time to gush about their relationships to a crowd of approving women. I’m just about ready to lock Hannick in as the couple I feel least confident about, but in the eleventh hour after the party, we get a strong new contender. After lovingly but firmly calling Stephen out for being a chronic yapper, Monica offhandedly mentions “the Alex and Tim thing,” teasing that something “weird” was happening.

Up until this point, I think we’ve all noticed that Alex has gotten irritated with Tim a couple of times. She’s acknowledged that she can come across as bossy and get annoyed easily, and we see that whenever he’s woofing or appreciating a wide-brimmed hat. But Tim is so easygoing, and all those moments have still ended in kisses. He’s also said that he’s 20,000 percent sure about her, and at the party, specifically highlighted the fact that Alex isn’t afraid to talk her shit and push back as something he loves about her.

But after leaving the party, they had what sounds like the most intense fight of the season so far. We don’t see any footage, but Alex and Tim — who didn’t sleep in the same room that night — give us a rough idea of what happened when he comes back in the morning. The gist is that Alex wasn’t really in the mood to talk after the party, and Tim wanted to know what was going on. Both of them ended up feeling angry and disrespected. Alex says Tim was making too many assumptions and, at one point, being belittling by yelling, “Speak, speak, speak!” She also recalls covering Tim’s mouth to try to get him to “stop being upset,” which seems like the worst possible strategy. Tim suggests that Alex insulted his character and called him names and that she had a problem with him trying to remove himself from the situation. We learn that he didn’t just sleep separately from Alex — he fully packed his bags. I mean, he’s said before that anyone who can make him angry is a red flag. I’m not surprised that he’s having trouble seeing Alex as his wife or mother of his children. She hugs him and says they can fix this, but he just blinks with a blank expression. The dog in him is definitely not barking.

And just like that, Alex and Tim have joined Hannah and Nick at the bottom of my couples rankings. Still, who knows what could happen next. The previews at the beginning and end of this week’s batch of episodes also show Ashley, Taylor, Monica, and Marissa all in tears or, at the very least, distraught. Are the honeymoon phases all about to end? See you next week, when we’ll be back in D.C.!

Extra Engaged

• My colleague Kathryn was present for part of the filming this season, and I highly recommend her excellent profile of Love Is Blind creator Chris Coelen, which offers a peek at what producers thought about some of the pod squad. The names were changed, but it’s fun to read it now and figure out who’s who. Literally, Blind items!

• After Marissa and Ramses, Ashley and Tyler are probably the couple I most see getting old together. When Tyler implied that people in the real world might tell her negative things about him, though … I just hope that means standard breakup fallout and not anything that’d cause another reality TV background-check scandal. God knows we have enough of those.

• Give the acupuncturist who was working while Monica and Stephen discussed his incessant boners a raise!

• Alex didn’t wear her bifocals during her reveal? I remain unconvinced that she and Tim have a future together. But if they somehow make it to the altar, one of them needs to make a joke in their vows about how truly blind her love was when they first met.