Happy Jewish New Year! OK, not exactly 'happy,' but ...

My first impulse was, "Ixnay on the whole Jewish New Year thing." I don't normally mention Rosh Hashanah anyway.

After all, there's the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza and now war in Lebanon, and just on Tuesday, Iran launching missiles against Israel, plus rising antisemitism everywhere, including Donald Trump preemptively blaming Jews if he loses the upcoming election.

So maybe talk of apples and honey and a sweet new year — while forgiving ourselves for any past mistakes, say, involving occupied territories, which might have unfortunately occurred in the past 12 months — would only be asking for trouble.

But difficult times are exactly the moment when you should stand up, manifest yourself, and be counted.

Last year, I mentioned the holiday only in passing, feeling obligated to point out Trump was threatening Jews: "He marked Rosh Hashanah by warning 'liberal Jews' who voted 'to destroy America & Israel' when they booted him out of office in 2020 to get in line. Or else."

That aside, the last column devoted to the holiday was fall of 2020, when COVID had jolted society; I took a moment to share the obvious:

"The Chosen People are not newcomers at celebrating holidays during hard times. As grim as the COVID pandemic has been, it doesn't hold a candle to Babylonian captivity or Roman persecution, the Inquisition or the Holocaust."

Before that, 2014.

"Antisemitism on the rise in Europe," I noted. "Jewish stores burn, Jews are killed in the street, Jewish centers attacked. Maybe not that much on historical terms, or compared to the massive horrors currently being inflicted in, oh, Syria, or South Sudan."

The reason for this outbreak in 2014 might sound familiar today.

"Why now? That’s easy, no expert needed. The war in Gaza. Its leaders, ... Hamas, fired rockets into Israel, and Israel blasted them back, killing lots of civilians, to the shock of the world, which then let the beast of antisemitism off its chain."

Before we go any further, let's play Guess the Jewish New Year. It isn't as if we use it to sign our checks.

I squinted and thought ... umm ... 5732? Checking Prof. Google ... whoops 5785, off by 53 years. Quite a lot, really. Though I was 11 in 5732; no wonder it stuck in my head. Religion was a bigger deal then.

So Rosh Hashanah, 5785. The general mood is, ah ... I'm a little late, I know. Again checking ... The Jerusalem Post already looked around and dubbed this “A bleak Jewish New Year.”

"In such bleak times, it feels almost impossible to summon the joy, pride, or power traditionally associated with Rosh Hashanah," writes Moshe Taragin. "How can we celebrate a day of glory when so much of our world is cloaked in tragedy and darkness and so many of God’s people remain mired in misery and agonizing pain?"

That's a good question. I suppose the short answer is, "We have to," because there is always a boatload of misery going on somewhere, only we aren't attuned to it, and so it doesn't bother us. There's a cottage industry of commentators pointing out bloodbaths around the world that aren't ruffling the pristine soul of a single college sophomore, perhaps because they don't involve that cat's paw of easy damnation: Jews.

Though I have a feeling that the people in misery Rabbi Taragin is referring to are the hostages — what hostages might still be alive. And I'm certain they will be remembered aplenty at the dinner table at my sister-and brother-in-law's place in Skokie. I will, in my style, try to gingerly point out that there are other people also suffering, in Gaza, through no fault of their own. Not that the whole ritual relieves a second of suffering anywhere, past, present or future.

The canyon floor hurtling up already. In closing, let me ask you something. The celebration of the arrival of ... forgot already, didn't you? ... 5785, what is it commemorating? Five thousand seven hundred and eighty-five years since ... what? If you said, "the creation of the world," you'd be close, but wrong. It's the creation of Man.

Think about that. We let the creation of the entire universe from nothing go unnoticed. Then, six days later, we stop and cook brisket and gather together to celebrate the arrival of ourselves. That's very on brand, wouldn't you say? Elevating yourself, sympathizing with yourself, considering first and foremost your needs while completely dismissing the entire world — well, at least you can comfort yourself that you are not alone. There is a lot of that going around. Sympathizing with other people is the hard part. And the only solution. Happy New Year.