My drunk flatmate was upset I told her she couldn’t take older man back to our place
DEAR DEIDRE: MY flatmate screamed at me in the street when I told her she couldn’t take a much older man back to our place.
There are four of us who share. We are all women and 20 years old, but we have no locks on our bedroom doors.
We were unhappy about her bringing him home. She was drunk, as were my other flatmates.
Three weeks ago, she brought a different man back who tried to get into bed with one of our flatmates in the middle of the night. I told him to leave.
I felt responsible for keeping the group safe as the others were really worried.
This is our shared space and I didn’t have a good feeling about him.
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Afterwards, I sent her a polite message outlining how unacceptable her behaviour has been and that I was upset at the way she speaks to me.
She replied that she didn’t want to discuss it.
It feels like a stand-off and I am angry.
I protected her and the other young women from a potentially dangerous situation and she won’t apologise to me.
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your house needs some rules and boundaries. Call a meeting with your flatmates and explain how her behaviour is making you all feel unsafe.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to get your point across.
Ask your landlord, too, if you can all have locks on your doors.
If things don’t improve, it might be time to consider moving on.