Peter Rhodes on vulnerable windfarms, reticence at the restaurant and a much-recycled old lady

At times like this I always envy Smithy (James Corden) in the BBC's Gavin & Stacey. In 40-odd years of ordering Indian food, I've rarely ventured beyond the safety of balti and biryani. Smithy rattles off his order for an array of exotically named platters from the take-away with the speed and assurance of an auctioneer: “Chicken bhuna, lamb bhuna, prawn bhuna, mushroom rice, bag of chips, keema naan and nine poppadoms.” Almost poetry, isn't it?