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Melania Trump’s Mysterious and Kooky Book-Promo Videos

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Thecut.com 
Photo: Melania Trump/X

When you’re a celebrity promoting a book, there are a few basic things you need to accomplish. You want to make it clear what kind of book it is, tease some of the content, and clearly state the release date.

But of course, Melania Trump is not a normal celebrity. She’s a former First Lady who’s best known for making the White House Christmas decorations spooky, wearing a rude jacket, and skipping almost all of Donald Trump’s 2024 campaign events.

So it’s no surprise that the promotional campaign for Melania’s forthcoming memoir is quite unconventional. A July press release revealed that the self-titled Melania contains dozens of pages of photos, along with “personal stories … she has never before shared with the public.” But there’s a lot we don’t know, and Melania’s promotional efforts are only adding to the mystery. For the past few weeks she has been posting heavily (yet inconsistently) stylized videos to her social-media pages. Many are shot in black-and-white with ominous music. Sometimes Melania speaks to the camera, but other videos are silent. In one she floats an assassination conspiracy theory, and in another she drops a hot take on her husband’s legal troubles. None of the videos mention the book’s release date (which is October 8, 2024).

In an effort to piece together what this book even is (straight Becoming-style memoir? Campaign book? Trumpy coffee table book?) and revel in the weirdness that is Melania, I will list and rate all the promotional videos below. Each entry will be rated on a scale of one to five “What is she thinking” beluga whales, with one being “nearly normal” and five being “utterly confounding.”

July 25: Suprise, it’s MELANIA

The sentiment in this first tweet is so generic that it could be applied to almost literally any book. It is mainly notable for the introduction of the weird graphic that concludes all the promotional videos: The word “MELANIA” sneaks up behind a shot of the book, which bears the title Melania. The book photo lingers over the word for a few seconds then dissolves, leaving only “MELANIA” on the screen. Did you know this book is titled Melania?

Rating: ???? 1/5 “What Is She Thinking?” Whales

August 25: Nothing to see here

This is the book-description equivalent of Mo’s eulogy from Succession. It might as well say, “I’m here as a fellow human to acknowledge that I have, as we know, written a book.”

Rating: ???? 1/5 “What Is She Thinking?” Whales

September 5: Can you handle Melania’s truth?

This is where things start to get a little kooky. Melania says this while speaking directly to the camera:

Writing this memoir has been a deeply personal and reflective journey for me. As a private person who has often been the subject of public scrutiny and misrepresentation, I feel a responsibility to clarify the facts. I believe it is important to share my perspective: the truth.

I guess the black-and-white interrogation-room lighting fits with the theme of getting closer to Melania’s “truth,” but it’s an odd look.

Rating: ???????? 2/5 “What Is She Thinking?” Whales

September 8: Melania may or may not have political opinions

Melania, who only does a voice-over for this video, drops a few vague sentences that almost constitute a political opinion:

The 2020 election results changed our lives forever. It impacted our quality of life, cost of food, gasoline, safety, and even the geopolitical landscape. America is more divided today than ever before. It has become increasingly apparent that there are significant challenges to free speech as demonstrated by the efforts to silence my husband.

So is this book, which comes out just weeks before another election that may “change our lives forever,” going to get into the Trump campaign’s policies? Or did Melania just throw an attack at Donald’s haters (or, rather, the judge who placed him under a fairly limited gag order) into this promotional spot for her book? It’s unclear!

Rating: ???????????????? 4/5 “What Is She Thinking?” Whales

September 10: MAGA Carrie Bradshaw

Melania couldn’t help but wonder: Was her husband’s near-assassination an inside job? She says:

The attempt to end my husband’s life was a horrible, distressing experience. Now the silence around it feels heavy. I can’t help but wonder: Why didn’t law enforcement officials arrest the shooter before the speech? There is definitely more to this story, and we need to uncover the truth. 

I have no doubt that the July 13 shooting was absolutely horrifying for Melania. And it’s no surprise that she wants answers about why the Secret Service failed to protect her husband. But is a book-promo video really the right venue for raising these questions? Does the memoir include Melania’s top presidential-assassination conspiracy theories? Guess we’ll have to read it on … some unspecified future date … to find out!

Rating: ???????????????????? 5/5 “What Is She Thinking?” Whales

September 12: Surprisingly intense thoughts on motherhood

Melania, who is suddenly in color, says:

The challenges and rewards of motherhood, from sleepless nights to joyful milestones, bring immense fulfilment that only a mother understands. The lessons I have learned from this experience are profound, and they have shaped me in ways I could never have imagined.

The zoom-in paired with Melania’s stare at the end feels a bit threatening. But I think this is just meant to convey that we’ll get cute baby pictures of Barron.

Rating: ???? 1/5 “What Is She Thinking?” Whales

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