How to give the man in your life a health MOT – from kissing to holding hands and bedroom chat
AS a wife, daughter, sister, or mum, you’ve likely experienced a man reluctant to visit the GP.
While you may feel like a broken record nagging him to get checked out, you could be saving his life.
Studies have shown that married men live, on the whole, longer than those who are single.
Movember, the leading men’s health charity, says nearly two-thirds of men wait more than a week after discovering symptoms to see a doctor, and around one-third leave it longer than a month.
This delay means preventable conditions, such as some cancers, heart disease, and type 2 diabetes — all of which affect men disproportionately — go untreated for longer.
A staggering two in five men die before 75 due to largely preventable causes, Movember says.
“Women can play a crucial role in helping tackle preventable conditions in men,” says Professor Paul Galdas, an ambassador for Movember.
“They can help men spot the signs and support them to take action. Allowing men to feel heard and not dismissed when discussing health worries and concerns is crucial,” he adds.
Whether it’s looking at their moles or mental health, Dr. Helen Wall from the NHS Oaks Family Practice in Bolton reveals the tests and checks you can do to help keep men healthy…
CHECK HIS TESTICLES
The most common cancer in men aged 20-44 is testicular cancer. Movember urges men to “know thy nuts”—pointing out that by getting familiar with what “normal” feels like, any changes are more obvious.
“Men should be checking their testicles every month and it’s something women can help with,” says Dr. Wall.
“Gently roll each testicle between the thumb and forefingers of both your hands to search for any hard lumps, bumps, or changes in size, shape, or consistency.”
Any changes warrant a GP check, even though there could be several non-cancerous causes.
“Finding cancer earlier often means a better prognosis—over 90% of testicular cancer cases will be cured,” says Dr. Wall.
OPEN UP IN THE BEDROOM
Although it can be an awkward conversation, erectile dysfunction is not something to brush under the carpet.
“While most men are embarrassed by having to admit to ED, and typically just want to reach for the Viagra, my main concern as a GP is the cause of it,” says Dr. Wall.
“There are a multitude of potential causes of ED, such as cardiovascular disease—furred-up arteries—high blood pressure, diabetes, and nerve disorders such as multiple sclerosis.”
The relatively common issues can be an indicator of future life-limiting problems—men with ED have higher chances of a heart attack or stroke in future years, studies show.
A GP can keep an eye on cardiac risk factors, such as high cholesterol or blood pressure, to help avoid this.
MONITOR MOLES
Keeping an eye out for the signs of a dodgy mole—one that has changed in colour, size, or shape—is something you and your partner can do for each other.
“I lost count long ago of the number of patients I’ve seen who tell me they have a mole or skin lesion that they can’t see and was spotted by a partner,” says Dr. Wall.
It’s not always a mole, either—lumps that are shiny, bleeding, ulcerating, or itching should be checked out too.
KISS YOUR MAN
A morning smooch tainted by bad breath could be an indicator of gum disease, which has been linked with a higher risk of heart and lung disease.
Bleeding and sore gums are other key signs. “Kissing can help women tell a lot about their partner’s health,” says Dr. Wall.
“Sores on the lips or inside your mouth that bleed easily and don’t heal within a few weeks need checking to rule out oral cancer.”
WATCH FOR WEIGHT LOSS
We normally give our partner a pat on the back if they are successful with a diet.
Unintentional weight loss, however, would be a concern for a GP.
“Does your partner need a belt suddenly? Are his clothes baggier?” says Dr. Wall.
“Unexpected weight loss can be a red flag for many types of cancer, as well as a key sign of conditions such as depression, diabetes, and hyperthyroidism.”
TOT UP HIS TOILET TRIPS
Your partner’s bathroom habits aren’t something you tend to monitor, but perhaps you’ve noticed him needing to go more often.
“Is your man getting up in the night for a wee?” asks Dr. Wall.
“Does he seem to be in the bathroom longer trying to wee? If the answer to either of these is ‘yes’ it could mean he needs to get his prostate checked.”
The prostate is a small gland that’s part of the male reproductive system. It can enlarge with age, causing health implications, but some symptoms cross over with prostate cancer.
The condition affects one in eight men, with the risk increasing over the age of 50—or 40, if men are Black or have African ancestry.
Meanwhile, bowel cancer can cause more frequent toilet trips, as well as constipation and blood in the stools.
HOLD HANDS FOR LONGER
Joining hands with your partner gives you a chance to check their nails. “There are parts of our bodies that can be real signifiers of disease, and our nails are one of them,” says Dr. Wall.
“Pale nails can be a sign of anaemia, half-pink-half-white nails can be a sign of kidney disease, yellow nails can be due to an infection or lung disease, a dark streak could be melanoma, and nails lifting from the finger can be a fungal infection.”
A GP check can be as easy as sending photos via an online appointment.
ASK HOW HE’S FEELING
It’s a devastating statistic—suicide is the leading cause of death in the UK in men under 50, Movember warns. “Men’s mental health is in a bad place and checking in on emotions is something women can encourage their sons, brothers, partners, and fathers to do,” says Dr. Wall.
Look out for signs of anger, frustration, irritability, withdrawal, and difficulty concentrating.
“There’s evidence men may be more likely to experience symptoms of depression such as these,” says Dr. Wall.
“These can manifest as over-working, excessive drinking, binge-eating, and taking drugs.”
Use ALEC method to talk you your man
Men aren’t always comfortable opening up, so reach out using the ALEC model.
A—ask how he’s feeling and mention changes you’ve picked up on;
L—listen with full attention and without judgement;
E—encourage him to focus on things that help his mood and if he’s felt low for more than two weeks, suggest he speaks to a doctor;
C—check in again in the near future.
- For more information, visit Movember.com.
- Call Samaritans on 116 123 if you or a loved one is feeling suicidal.