My partner’s ex-girlfriend is an uninvited guest in our lives
DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner’s ex-girlfriend is still part of his family and I want her gone.
I’m 25 years old, my partner is 30 and his ex-girlfriend is 27. We’ve been together for two years and he shares his five-year-old daughter with his ex.
One of the things that I love about my partner is his determination to coparent peacefully with his ex-partner but I draw the line at her still being a part of the family.
I can understand her being at their daughter’s birthday but why does she have to show up to every family barbeque or celebration?
She blanks me and always flirts with my boyfriend and tries to get his attention.
I’ve become so uncomfortable with the situation that I’ve started to refuse to attend family events in case she is there.
My boyfriend insists there’s no chance of them getting back together but I think she’s secretly holding out hope.
How do I stop his ex from attending these events?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not fair that you feel uncomfortable during these situations.
It’s fantastic that your boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend co-parent so well together, it will ultimately benefit their daughter.
But if her presence is affecting your relationship then it’s time to redraw the lines.
Explain how you are feeling pushed out and if he’s serious about you then he’ll find a way to limit his ex’s involvement.
Remember you are his partner, his ex-girlfriend is not. My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you be clear and firm with him.