I don’t want to see my kids everyday – trolls come after me saying their heart breaks but it make me a better person
A MUM has revealed the reality of sharing custody of her children and says she loves that she doesn’t have them all the time.
Lucy, a mum-of-two admits she likes co-parenting as it gives her a break and allows her to also focus on herself and her business.
The mum, who lives in Perth, Australia, but is originally form the UK, spoke candidly about her experience and it seemed many mums felt the same way.
She said: “I don’t want to see my kids every single day, I said it.
“And I’m fully aware that the comment section is probably gonna go off.”
Lucy added that often people assume she’s a ‘rubbish person’ for her stance but gave her reasoning.
Of course, the mum said if her kids needed to be with her full time she would do it no questions asked – but she didn’t want parenting to be all on her.
She said she was stern from the get go when she and her ex decided to have kids and that it should be split 50/50 no matter what happens – something most of us can agree with.
” I think society still sits everything on the mother of the children which personally to me feels really unfair now,” she explained as she also works full time.
She added that working full time while looking after the kids full time made her feel like she wasn’t able to give them her all as she was balancing running her own business.
Now, it’s easier for both her and her partner to work full time and be present parents to their kids.
Not only has it helped her feel like she is a better mum but it also gives her time to herself.
She continued: “I think it’s okay to want space for yourself and want time away from the kids.”
“I think that’s okay to want that.
“Because we need to make sure that we are okay, and our cups are full so we can pour into our children.
“I’ve been pouring from an empty cup ever since I became a mum, so now it’s time to flourish.”
The clip posted to her TikTok account @abundantlylucy went viral with over 200k views and 6,000 likes.
Many mums took to the comments agreeing with her statement but some thought it was ‘heartbreaking’ to see the mum speak about not wanting her children to be around every day.
One person wrote: “Why don’t people ask dads this? “Don’t you miss them, don’t you want them full time” – why is it just mums who get made guilty for wanting a partnership or be grateful to be able to operate as a human.”
Another commented: “Oh wow. This just broke my heart for them a bit. That’s so upsetting.”
“I’ve never felt more validated… I thought it was just me,” penned a third.
How to navigate seperation
The leading children's charity NSPCC has offered some advice on what to do during a separation or divorce.
To support children during a separation and help them with their worries, you should:
- Remind them that both parents love them
- Be honest when talking about it, but keep in mind the child’s age and understanding
- Avoid blame and don’t share any negative feelings the adults have about each other
- Keep up routines, such as going to school and having specific mealtimes and bedtimes
- Let them know they can talk about their feelings with you – explain that it’s OK to be sad, confused or angry
- Listen more than you speak – asking questions will help them to open up.
Meanwhile a fourth said: “I think I value my quality time with my kids so much more, because I have that mini break. I get it!”
“She spits the truth that others just aren’t ready to hear,” claimed a fifth.
Someone else added: “I think the fundamental thing is this: are the kids happy? they are getting quality time with both parents, this is the most important thing.”
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