Dave Grohl Reveals He's a Father Again in a...Very Creative Way

11.09.2024 13:13

Jezebel.com

On Tuesday, Dave Grohl announced he's—once again—become a father in the most...creative of ways.

"I've recently become the father of a new baby daughter, born outside of my marriage," the Foo Fighters founder wrote in a statement posted to Instagram. "I plan to be a loving and supportive parent to her." Nice passive voice, guy! Did a stork just...drop this baby daughter on your doorstep? Or, did she arrive by (transgender illegal) alien spacecraft?

"I love my wife and my children, and I am doing everything I can to regain their trust and earn their forgiveness."

Oh! He had an affair. I got it now.

"We're grateful for your consideration toward all the children involved, as we move forward together," he concluded. Frankly, I'm just annoyed that he didn't find a way to fit "I've got another confession to make" somewhere in there.

Grohl, who's been married to Jordyn Blum since 2003, has three other daughters: Violet, 18, Harper, 15, and Ophelia, 10. Since the announcement, the eldest deactivated her Instagram account. I mean, can you blame her? Although, I'd do more than deactivate if I learned my father had an affair, and he announced the child of said affair like a college football coach announces he's accepted a post at a rival university.

Anyway. I simply love being reminded that yes, all men. Now, enjoy this tweet.

Following Taylor Swift's endorsement of Vice President Kamala Harris, former president Donald Trump says he likes Brittany Mahomes better. [Variety]

Meanwhile, Elon Musk should be sterilized. [Page Six]

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Back when times were simpler, Matthew Lawrence and Justin Timberlake had beef. [People]

Tom Cruise doesn't get paid extra for stunts that could literally kill him. [The Hollywood Reporter]