‘I Can’t See It,’ Reports Child At Every Zoo Exhibit

EVERYWHERE—Emphasizing that the creature was nowhere to be found, every child at every zoo exhibit across the planet reported Wednesday that they couldn’t see the animals. “Where is it? Where is it? I can’t see!” said 6-year-old Oliver Saladino, echoing the sentiment of children around the world while pointing an outstretched arm at the enclosure and complaining that he wanted to look at the giraffes, chimpanzees, rhinos, and penguins, but he couldn’t find where a single one was located. “Lift me up, lift me up! I wanna get a better look! Is it hiding? Is it sleeping? Is it behind the log? Can you tell them to come out? Make the animals do something!” At press time, every child at every zoo exhibit had reportedly jumped into the enclosure to get a better look.

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