I asked experts to ‘roast’ my dating pics – I scored a measly 4.3/10 & but the comments worked & men were lining up
OVER eight years – that’s how long I’ve been single, with the occasional ‘situationship’ here and there.
Like for many singletons in my shoes, it often feels as though I’ve exhausted all of my resources – whether it’s meeting someone at the bar or matching with a potential Romeo on dating apps.
Hinge – and Tinder when I visit my parents back home, in Latvia – are my go-tos, and it seems that fellow daters prefer these apps too, with a staggering 1.5million UK adults using Hinge and an astronomical 2.5million on Tinder.
With so many singletons across these matchmaking apps you’d think it would be easy to find a future partner – but as someone who’s essentially a veteran of dating sites, I can assure you that it’s not the case.
Sure, I have been on plenty of dates over the last few years, with some more successful than others.
However, for the most part, it’s likes and matches that go unnoticed – either my messages will be ignored or the blokes won’t initiate the conversation, despite having ”liked” my profile.
So where am I going wrong?
It sounds obvious but it has long been known that when using dating apps, you should always stick to your best snaps and selfies as well as uploading something that tells a story about you, your hobbies and interests.
As an avid gym-goer (and someone who may spend a little too much time lifting weights), I’ve opened my Hinge profile with a cheeky gym mirror photo, alongside a prompt that says ”Me in the wild”.
This is followed by five more images – a selfie where I have a red lipstick pout, another holding a cocktail and a rather wholesome photo of me and my bestie.
There’s also a National Geographic-worthy submission which my brother took of me during an arduous hike in Scotland, as well a lovely snap of my younger self holding a bottle of red.
The message I send through my eyes is decent too – it shows I’m active, social and ideally, after something long-term.
Well, at least it’s significantly better than the typical ”Give me travelling tips for Japan” and ”I’m looking for someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously”.
Side note – If I see either of the above one more time I’m tempted to throw my phone in the bin.
I thought I had nailed it but the lack of conversations and matches tell me otherwise.
Although I’m by no means desperate to get into a relationship (and have already come to accept the fact I may be the forever-single auntie at family gatherings), it would be nice to finally find a match who I can enjoy a sushi night – or head to the latest art exhibition – with.
That’s why I submitted my dating profile for a review on ROAST to find out where I was going wrong.
The site, which boasts an impressive four-star rating, gives its clients ”data-driven feedback and clear advice on how to boost your profile now, get more matches, and find the one”.
One fan of the platform said: ”They gave an honest constructive review. Definitely what I needed. Now I’ve got to step it up. Great experience.”
Another reviewer added: ”Roast has really helped with giving me detailed insights into my profile and excellent knowledge on how the dating apps works.
”My matches and messages have increased as a result, just make sure you’re willing to put the work in as there’s a lot of improvement to do.”
Relationships in numbers: The most common way to meet someone
YouGov looked into how Brits find love, and your best bet is at work or through friends according to the data.
- Through work – 18%
- Through friends – 18%
- While out and about – 15%
- Other – 11%
- Online dating platform – 7%
- University or higher education – 6%
- Dating app – 6%
- School – 5%
- Shared hobby – 5%
- Family – 3%
- Face to face at an event – 0%
For a purse-friendly one-off payment of £5, I first completed a quiz explaining what type of match I’m looking for, including gender, relationship type (hook-ups, casual or something serious), how many matches my profile gets currently – on average, around 5 a day which I said I was looking to double.
Once I’d answered the questions – which takes less than a minute – it was time to submit my profile photos, up to a maximum of nine snaps.
Photos not ‘doing any favours’
The results which were sent to my email…were shocking.
I scored a measly 4.3/10 overall and the quality of my photos got an embarrassing 2.0/10 whilst facial expressions were given the same poor rating.
I was advised to ”ditch those dingy backgrounds” because apparently, these weren’t doing me ”any favours”.
The image that scored the least and received the most brutal feedback was my iconic red lippy snap – the dating gurus were not impressed with the pose, facial expressions and said ”the tilting doesn’t work here, try again”.
Slightly better – but just as poor – was the photo my lifelong best friend took of me whilst we’d gone out for drinks in Southampton last year.
According to ROAST, ”drinking does not convey much” and ”rings the ‘classical night out’ bell”, which may put some people off.
Instead, they recommended I swap the cocktail for something more classy and ”attractive”, such as a glass of champagne and white wine – neither of which I’m massively fond of.
What about the picturesque snap of me overlooking the Scottish Highlands with the crystal clear blue sky?
This has been a firm favourite of mine for some time – after all, it shows I’m adventurous, like to keep fit and explore; a good mix of partying (responsibly) and being outdoorsy.
Although the first impression was 7.5/10 and the jaw-dropping background added ”to the look”, the experts emphasised that people ”want to see your face”.
There are other no-nos when it comes to uploading the perfect snap – such as selfies with dogs, ”hiding your mouth”, as it’s ”perceived as distrustful in psychology”, as well as hiding your face behind the phone.
At 5/10 came the photo of me, all in black, next to my friend during my birthday celebrations in London – a classic image of two pals smiling to the camera, with a rather leggy display from my end.
Although both me and my Instagram following thought I looked great, this was clearly not the case.
This time, the experts were not thrilled with the pose – as it felt ”a little bit too staged”, urging me to ditch it with ”a more candid pose”.
They explained: ”Staging appears often when you’re looking at the camera when you should not.
”It can be also linked to the combo of: looking at the camera and being stiff.”
They added: ”Dude, you look like you’re waiting for a job interview. Relax that face and ditch the forced smile.
”Get out of those overly casual restaurant spots and shine solo—you need to be the star of the show.”
Starting all over again
Gobsmacked with the brutal feedback – and clearly in a dire need of more photos – I took action and changed practically everything about the profile.
One by one, I removed the old snaps and uploaded ones where my ”face and eyes” were visible.
These included the most recent selfie – a portrait with my brand new brunette tresses – and a snap taken during a wedding where I was wearing a dark green saree (with my face looking at the camera, as per the guidance).
Meanwhile, to showcase my adventurous side, I opted for an image taken at Go Ape, after my gym buddy and I almost broke our nails climbing the trees.
Scrolling through my camera roll, I also quickly realised just how challenging – and impossible – it was to find an image that doesn’t scream ”trying to pull off my best pose”.
As none of my mates take candid snaps of me, I went with what was the most natural of the bunch – a photo where I’m smiling in Amsterdam, with a gorgeous sunset in the background.
Was it worth the faff?
With the new snaps in place, I clicked ”Done” and patiently waited.
Within a few hours, likes started coming in and aspiring Romeos seemed to be particularly fond of my new brunette hairdo – and I even had two former matches message me out of the blue.
Within 12 hours of altering my Hinge profile, I had ten men sitting in my ”Likes”.
But were the few extra likes worth the faff? Not really.
Sure, there may be more lads liking my snaps – but very few of them bothered to send me a message or it’s always the same dull ”hi”.
Since then, I’ve reuploaded the gym snap – the one that seems to be getting the most attention – and the messages are more interesting.
One fellow gym lover has even asked if we can arrange a leg session together…