My girlfriend bullies me but I’m too afraid to tell anybody
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M a man who is too ashamed to tell anybody that I’m scared of my female partner.
She is full of threats and bullies me until I do as she says.
I’m a man of 72 and she’s 65. She’s not a nice person.
We’ve lived together for six years. I never complain. I pay a huge amount of money towards the household bills but she never tells me how much they are.
I also help care for her mother who is 93.
Last night she really lost her temper with me because I couldn’t drive her to bingo after drinking a few beers.
Next thing she started yelling at me saying she’s going to get some friends to “come round and sort me out”.
I’m terrified. I can’t go on living with her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Nor should you have to. It’s unlikely you’ll be able to change her. Only she can do that and right now, you are feeling intimidated and frightened.
When she shouts and threatens you again, move to a different room or go out of the house for a walk and don’t go back to her until she has calmed down.
Check out Respect (respect.org.uk), a support organisation for those living with domestic abuse.
Their helplines are for men and women, anyone caring for children, to get practical information and a refuge if need be, so that they can feel safe again.
Through their site you’ll find a male victims toolkit designed to destigmatise abuse and encourage men to speak out.