I've haggled down the price of everything from rent to dental surgery, and I have 6 tips for anyone who wants a better deal

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• Haggling isn't appropriate in all circumstances, but it can bear fruit even when prices seem fixed.
• There is an art to haggling, and it takes time to learn how to do it effectively.
• Being knowledgeable, friendly, firm, decisive, frugal, and reasonably flexible help when bargaining.

Ever since I finished college in 2003, I've had a side gig buying and selling merchandise both locally and online. I've flipped thousands of items over the years, and my extensive experience trading both online and in person has taught me a lot about the strategy and etiquette of price negotiation.

Here are six lessons I've learned that can help you score a great deal.

1. Be friendly, but firm

DO play nice. Hollywood glorifies sales and marketing as the domain of smooth-talking, cutthroat hustlers bent on stealing your shirt — but while high-pressure bargaining tactics may seem charismatic or charming on the big screen, they don't translate to everyday life. You'll be better served by good manners and a few kind words. Be polite, stay positive, and remember: The more pleasant you are to work with, the more deals you'll get done.

DON'T be a pushover. Being polite doesn't mean being overly accommodating, however. You don't owe it to anyone to accept a bad deal for courtesy's sake. Set your terms and stick to them. If you can't reach an agreement, then so be it. Failing to close a deal is not a breach of etiquette, so you shouldn't take it personally if you and the other party don't see eye to eye.

2. Be perceptive, not presumptuous

DO be mindful of context. Attitudes about haggling vary culturally, regionally, personally, and situationally. For example, I find folks in Seattle less comfortable with price negotiations than the Michiganders I grew up with, and I generally get more traction naming my price at a local swap meet than at the mall. Pay attention to how your haggling attempts are received. If someone seems reluctant to negotiate, respect their stance and carry on.

DON'T make assumptions. Haggling may work even in circumstances that are typically non-negotiable. For example, I've haggled over the cost of retail goods at big-box stores, monthly rental payments, compensation for a delayed or oversold flight, and even dental surgery during a time when I didn't have insurance. Use your judgment to decide where you feel haggling is or isn't appropriate, but to quote hockey legend Wayne Gretzky: You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

3. Know more, pay less

DO research the market. Seek out comparable items for sale to establish a baseline price and assess your options. You'll have more leverage if you can get a similar deal elsewhere, and less if the deal in front of you is unique. Either way, use that knowledge to hone your offer and, when possible, look at selling prices rather than listing prices to get a clearer sense of fair market value.

DON'T mistake similar for equivalent. Look for differences between available items and the one you're eyeing, like the model number and specifications, subtle wear that might diminish the value, or accessories that might augment it. Account for costs like taxes and shipping, and consider external factors like time, distance, and convenience. If you have to drive an extra hour to save $10, that's not really a better deal.

4. Be frugal, not cheap

DO bid to your advantage. Start by offering less than you're ultimately willing to pay — or as a seller, list items for sale above the minimum you'll accept. Your first offer may be accepted, but if not, you'll still have room to negotiate below your ceiling. Conventional wisdom says naming a price first puts you at a disadvantage, but that's only a concern for high-stakes negotiations; I wouldn't sweat it when you're buying a coffee table off Craigslist.

Also, price isn't the only variable in play. All aspects of a transaction are open to negotiation. If you're in a position to offer other favorable terms — like your own muscle or vehicle to move a heavy piece of furniture — make that clear from the start to help your offer stand out.

DON'T blow a good deal looking for a better one. When you're presented with a strong offer, take it. Trying to chip away at a favorable deal leaves the door open for someone else to swoop in, and make your opportunity their own. Best to complete the transaction and let good enough be good enough.

DON'T give lowball offers with little chance of success. That tells the seller you're not serious and starts off negotiations inhospitably. Before you name a price, consider whether you would accept the same amount if the roles were reversed. If the answer is a resounding no, then your offer probably isn't reasonable.

5. Act decisively, not hastily

DO strike while the iron is hot. Nothing pleases me more as a seller than a buyer who offers to pay cash and close a deal quickly. I'll happily lower my asking price if it means moving an item now rather than the possibility of getting top dollar later. Cash talks, and expedience is an asset, so employ both when possible.

DON'T rush. While you should act quickly to secure a true bargain, you shouldn't feel compelled to act when you're uncertain. Silence your FOMO and ignore any pressure tactics applied by the other party. Trust your gut, and for the sake of your own inner peace, try not to doubt yourself once you've made a decision.

6. Set limits, not limitations

DO have a plan. Figuring out what you're willing to pay ahead of time will help you stay on budget. It also frames the negotiation so you can bid strategically. When you've exhausted options and can't reach a satisfactory deal, a take-it-or-leave-it offer at your limit is an effective final bargaining strategy, since it puts the decision on the other party. If that fails, be willing to walk away.

DON'T be a robot. Price negotiation is a dynamic process, and you'll miss opportunities if you dogmatically adhere to one course of action just because it's what you decided on beforehand. Your plan should exist to serve you, not to inhibit you.

For example, I have a friend who only brings the exact amount of cash he's willing to spend when he negotiates. That sounds like a prudent way to avoid overspending on the surface, but it's really a hindrance. What if a seller is stuck on a price negligibly above the amount you're carrying, or if the item you want turns out to be in better condition than you thought? It's better to keep your options open and leave yourself room to maneuver.

This article was originally published in November 2021.