ALERT: Kamala Harris Is Kamal Aroush! Tim Walz Has A Fake Dog! Buy Scraps of Trump Debate Suit! Make It Stop!

In this hallucinatory election year, how weird can things get? Weird. Among the lunatic slings and arrows being tossed at Dems in hopes something sticks: The claim Walz is a serial-lying, horse-semen-drinking Great Replacement zealot, Harris is a child-trafficking, sexually-servicing trans man named Kamal Aroush, and it'll all be okay if you buy fabric-bedecked trading cards from a grifting crackpot who wants to start a "Space National Guard." At this point sure, why not.

Because going low is the only thing today's GOP knows, Kamala Harris and Tim Walz have been targeted with a frenzied "avalanche of disinformation" since they were nominated. Unsurprisingly, they've quickly joined the ranks of other competent, high-profile figures hit by the same toxic stew - sexist, racist, transphobic, insane - like Michelle Obama, Brigitte Macron and, for Black "rabbis- drunk-on-Christian-blood" wingnut Candace Owens, anyone outside MAGA world. "It's not a coincidence that Justin Trudeau is gay!" Owens has ranted. "Obama: gay! Zelensky: gay! Macron: gay, married to a trans man who molested him as a child!" For Democrats in recent years - see Hillary Clinton in the nefarious "Pizzagate" - charges often include pedophile rings, cults, crimes, parties. Even Sleepy Joe's partaken, it seems. "Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are the number one traffickers of children, girls, into sex slavery on planet Earth," raves Stephen 'Goebbels' Miller, and if you cant believe him who can you believe.

Thus has Harris been accused of being a "prostitute for globalists," sleeping her way to the top herself or getting others to "service" said globalists. She's also been featured in fake photos with Jeffrey Epstein - arm in arm, canoodling on a beach etc - which totally makes sense given her history as a prosecutor whose fiery pursuit of those committing sex crimes largely "defined her career." Still, nothing prepared us for the newest QAnon bombshell - "MAJOR ALERT! ITS ALL COMING OUT!" - that Kamala Harris is actually a man named Kamal Aroush from Benghazi - conspiracy double dipping! - who "graduated" from Iraq in 1959 even though he/she was born in 1964 and got "higher training" in the UK. Irrefutable proof comes in a 2023 photo of Kamala/Kamal in a slinky dress with a very suspicious crease where a penis would be; it also shows "peculiarities in her teeth and hairline," indicating "a possible identity switch or disguise." And obviously there is no chance photos were in any way digitally doctored. Who would do that?

As a woman of color with grit to spare, Harris is an easy target for the haters; America's Amiable White Dad Tim Walz has been harder to nail. But they're trying. After his "legendary liar's" military record, they moved on to him as a zoophile who once drank horse semen and a Great Replacement fan who turned Minnesota's flag into Somalia's so he can "do the same to our country." He protected pedophiles (not), let undocumented migrants vote (ditto), lied about his dog Scout (LOL), said he got an award from the Chamber of Commerce when it was the Junior Chamber (typing error), and is what Tucker Carlson randomly called "a creeper." Twitter offered their own fact-check: He wore a crown declaring him "Burger King" but has no such title, he told students something would be on a test that wasn't, he was spotted drinking from a World’s Greatest Dad coffee mug but others have claimed that title, he bought a Happy Meal for his kids and they weren't, and "JUST IN: A 1/2" box wrench was seen in his metric wrench drawer."

With Vance (lamely) taking on Walz, it's fallen to Nasty Orange Guy to attack Harris. With his penchant for vitriol, racism, lies and fearmongering - a recent post shows a line of people of color walking a dirt road with, "If you’re a woman you can vote for Trump or wait until one of these monsters goes after you or your daughter" - it's come easy. A recent addition: His re-posting of the Kamala-is-a-man news: "IS KAMALA HARRIS, REAL NAME KAMAL AROUSH." But, losing and losing it, desperation and weirdness are taking over. He's "a better-looking person than Kamala," she's both a communist and a fascist (hmm), she's "dumb," she's "Comrade" or "Communist" Kamala, but the schoolyard taunts, "dick contests put into words," don't land. As Harris brilliantly mocks him, she ignites his greatest fear - being laughed at. "Ridicule makes him small," writes Michael Tomasky. "He tries to respond with ridicule of his own, but he is not a clever man. He’s a stupid man. He has no wit, (and) underneath the bluster and bullying he knows it."

He also can't help himself: Clowns gonna clown, grifters gonna grift. In "very exciting news," he's now hawking another series of tawdry, $99 "all new stunning Trump Digital Trading Cards...It's really something." If you buy 15 (for $1,485), you get "a beautiful physical trading card - "It's really, I think, quite something" - each with a scrap of the alleged suit he wore at his debate with Biden, representing "one of the most historic moments in 2024, and the impact it will have on years to come." Or buy 75 ($7,425), and get dinner at his crappy golf club. Or buy 5 and get a FREE pair of Trump Gold Low Top Never Surrender sneakers, purportedly sold out months ago, "FOR FREE ONLY $495!" Or keep scrolling and scrolling to many more frantic deals, sneakers, photos of him leering with blonde young things. In a Q&A, a query if any money goes to his campaign gets a "NO," nothing to do with politics. Because, duh, legal fees. And the dolts buying "are (new) friends of mine." Sure, let's make this sordid carnival barker president. BUY NOW!!

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The cringe keeps coming. This week, to mark three years since the Afghanistan withdrawal and an airport suicide bombing that killed 13 U.S. soldiers, Cadet Bone Spurs defied Arlington National Cemetery's rule against political activities to meet with relatives of one U.S. victim, prompting a "verbal and physical altercation" with his staff. Blustering on, he did a moronic thumbs-up photo op at the grave, and blamed Biden/Harris for "the collapse of American credibility and respect all around the world." (No, that would be you.) He ripped "stupid" Biden for leaving behind $85 billion of equipment ($7 billion), vowed to "get the resignations of every senior official (involved) at noon on his imaginary Inauguration Day because "you have to fire people when they do a bad job, like on The Apprentice,” told National Guard members - Fox chyron: "Trump will prevent World War 3" - the U.S. has no ammunition because "we gave it all away to different groups," proposed a "Space National Guard," and bragged he is "very good at using a telephone."

He also urged a year in prison for burning a U.S. flag - "They say, ‘Sir, that’s unconstitutional.’ We’ll make it constitutional" - and got indicted again for trying to steal an election by Jack Smith, who did a work-around of SCOTUS' immunity ruling to clarify treason wasn't part of his "official duties." As underlings pointlessly spent $50,000 on ads in Florida to improve his mood, he pointlessly visited the border wall where, sweating in his clown makeup, he touted spending $11 billion to add 400 feet to a largely abandoned wall that thousands of people have dug under, climbed over, sawed through, skirted - but he mistakenly chose a spot built by Obama, not him. He later raved online, "Great patriots who work their hearts out to have a Strong and Powerfulnnz Border (are) harassed by Border Czar Kamala Harris, who wants the". "Kamalas Harris is a man Named Kamal Aroush, Osama Bin Laden is CIA operative Tim Osman, who Barack Obama is either related to or actually is," wrote one MAGA sage. "Our world is just one big elaborate ongoing joke on the rest of us." Dude, we hear you.

Dinner at Trump Golf Course is a prize for buying cardsScreenshot from Trump Cards promotional video