All quiet on the Nicosia front

By Philippa Tracy

Thank god that August is almost over. Not only does nothing much happen; it’s also way too hot, but we’ve been there before. Certainly nothing much happens in Nicosia for two weeks around the August 15 public holiday. The religious belief that the body of Mary, mother of Christ, was “assumed” into heaven to be reunited with her soul is celebrated as Assumption Day in both the Catholic and Orthodox church. In Cyprus, as in many other countries in Europe, this celebration seems to last for two weeks. In Nicosia, it also seems to involve spending lots of time decamping to Protaras. The beach is the new religion. Or at least the place to be seen.

Obviously not everyone leaves town. A quick trip to Ledra Street confirmed that there was still some life in this part of the city; Nicosia was not completely dead. Although not many locals seemed to be working and I struggled for a while to find a bin where I could recycle my empty wine bottles. But that is just what happens in August, I guess. And maybe I should drink less! It is good to know though that the police were around to arrest two people who live in Pera Chorio, just outside of Nicosia, in connection with a valuable icon that went missing from a church in Platy Aglandjia during this time. Ironically, the icon of the Virgin Mary was apparently stolen from the Apostolos Andreas church on Kyrenia Avenue between August 15 and 17. Surely not? While everyone was celebrating the holiday in Protaras? It makes you wonder why they call August the silly season for news.

For those of us who chose not to leave the metropolis, there were many positives: empty streets, no traffic jams and no crowds in the shops. Of course, apart from supermarkets, bakeries, and a few places on Ledra Street, many of the shops were actually closed. However, in the lead up to the 15th, the Alpha Mega parking situation seemed to be worse than ever, although I have no idea why. Maybe the extreme heat had an impact on people’s ability to park their car in a straight line. Or maybe, like me, there were people not in Protaras, who had an air conditioner that wasn’t working. Or they were working from home, as in the coffee shop rather than their actual home. Who knows? One thing I do know is that trying to get someone to fix my air conditioner or tumble dryer, has been nigh on impossible. And yes, I am someone who uses both an air con and a tumble dryer in 40+ degrees heat; I really don’t like the heat and even less do I like using towels or underwear that feel like cardboard.

I also have a house guest who likes to go to the gym every day. When he informed me, two weeks ago, that he was heading out for an hour to the gym across the road, I tried to let him down gently. I said, I think it might be closed. His face told me that this was a concept that he was struggling with: a gym in a capital city closed in the middle of the day, on a Monday. Why would it be closed? Well. It’s a holiday and pretty much everything is closed; there’s nobody in Nicosia. You may have noticed. They’re probably all in Protaras. Or Polis. Naturally, this did not compute; he had to see it for himself. He was back within minutes. It was closed. One alternative might be getting a bus to Limassol. I was pretty sure he would find a gym open in one of the hotels there. But he was having none of that. Someone should really tell the tourists what is going on. For the sake of inclusion, if nothing else. Maybe have a website even?

I’m not sure how many of the nearly four million tourists in Cyprus come to Nicosia each year. There must be a few, even in August. Nicosia has been promoted in a number of travel pieces that I have read this year alone. The Independent described Nicosia, very attractively, as the “cultural epicentre of the country”. I’m sure any tourists that do come to spend time in Nicosia are probably looking for historic monuments, museums and churches, or restaurants, rather than a gym. But it’s not always easy to find information you really want. I am fully versed in the opening hours of the Cyprus Museum but when it comes to places to eat or which shops are open, or even which gyms, I found that not many such small businesses here actually have a website. I know that more than three billion people in the world still use Facebook but when I am looking for information about a business on Google, it really irritates me when I click on the link that says, “website” and it takes me to a Facebook page or a Facebook group. I somehow feel cheated.

But, having identified Facebook as a source of information that some friends use to find out what’s going on in the big city, and having trawled through a number of Facebook groups, I have discovered a few things. This is all new to me, as I usually only go on Facebook for the purposes of looking at pictures my friends post of their children and for gossip. And regardless of what Erica Jong said about gossip being “the opiate of the oppressed,” I love a bit of gossip. Who doesn’t? I have found though that there are pages on there for all sorts of things, including Cyprus figs, rock festivals and tribute bands. I even found the gym across the road.

Apparently, there are many cultural events to look forward to in September. La Traviata at the Aphrodite Festival in Paphos. Or the option of a Beatles tribute band. And while during some of the best evenings of my misspent youth I enjoyed a number of Elvis tribute acts in as many Chinese restaurants in South East London, I am not sure I will be going to Paphos for either. The biggest of the musical events must surely be the Ed Sheeran concerts in Larnaca on September 7 and 8. As a fan, I would probably go to that if I could get a ticket. But while I have been searching for something similar in the cultural epicentre itself, I have also been learning about figs. Which I happen to love. Fig season is from July to October. Figs also mark the end of summer, apparently. So, I am really hoping that the weather has peaked and I am able to find some in the shops soon, now that it is the end of August. Even if I can’t find a tribute band in Nicosia. Roll on September!