Here’s what we’ll miss out on as Noel and Liam choose Oasis tour over Number 10

Today is gonna be the day where nobody wants to talk about anything other than the Oasis reunion and next year’s tour of the UK and Ireland.

That’s bad news for Sir Keir Starmer, who spent the bank holiday weekend building up to a major speech ahead of parliament’s return from recess next week.

His big moment in the spotlight was arranged for 10am in the Downing Street rose garden – just two hours after the biggest announcement of the year for British music.

There’s a chance he’s also nervous about the fact that both Noel and Liam Gallagher have spoken at length about the things they’d do if they were in his shoes as prime minister.

Liam and what he would do if he were Prime Minister

Liam effectively announced his ambitions in a 7am post on Twitter back in June 2019.

In his distinctive style, he wrote: ‘My name is liam Gallagher I have 4 beautiful children I have dabbled in drugs over the years I’ve had many number 1s now send me the keys to no10 I’ll sort this pile of s**t out WHY ME?WHY NOT.’

He expanded on his plans in a video for LadBible a couple of years ago, saying he would ‘have to just put a law in and just gaffer tape Scousers’ mouths’, with ‘Manchester United fans followed quickly second’.

In an even more bewildering move, he added: ‘If I was prime minister, I’d ban all governments and just let people use their common f***ing sense.’

But there’s no danger of a dramatic shift into politics, Liam said, as he believes he is ‘too good-looking for that stuff’.

His brother and one-time mortal enemy Noel went into even greater detail about his own political ideas in a podcast with radio presenter Matt Morgan earlier this year.

The elder Gallagher’s big idea was compulsory ‘bi-annual health checks’ for the British population.

If people decided not to follow the advice of their doctors – here’s the kicker – Noel would personally execute them.

He said: ‘I’d say to people, “Right, well you’re not in decent shape here. We’ll see you in two years and give them a plan on how to get healthy.”

‘And if you’ve stayed the same or deteriorated, well then, I’m sorry – it’s on you.

‘If you show some kind of willing to get healthy, then that’s different… we can see if they have changed their diet or got more exercise. And then if they didn’t, I would shoot them.’

The younger brother and what he would call his own political party

Noel has even got as far as giving his political movement a name: The After Party.

And interestingly, he gave it the tagline ‘It’s Going To Get Worse Before It Gets Better’ – a phrase that might ring familiar to those who do tune in to Starmer’s speech this morning.

Could there be behind-the-scenes inspiration at play? Some might say.

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