Snow White and the Witches of Hollywoke

It’s too late to save Hollywood. The men who built it and guided cinema through the entire twentieth century foolishly gave the reigns to a spoiled, weak, ideologically brainwashed generation in the twenty-first. Which became easy prey for the coven of feminist witches that despoiled the motion picture art.

Like everything they touch and could never create, these misandrous hags left the screen trade an ugly, shrieking, haunted house. But to ensure victory, they had to corrupt the first name in traditionalist family fare, Walt Disney, into a perverse grotesquery, devoid of all beauty, innocence, and child appeal. (READ MORE from Lou Aguilar: The Sun Sets on Britain)

Last year, I was one of many conservative journalists who mocked the woke live-action remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves then in production. Walt Disney’s risky first feature film — an animated tour de force — made his little studio the top player in wholesome entertainment.

The classic film enchanted little girls for almost 90 years by beautifully capturing their desire for companionable fantasy — talking animal friends; beauty — “the fairest of them all”; premarital romance — Prince Charming; and maternal responsibility — the seven dwarves.

The remake, Snow White, dispensed with all these eternal virtues, initially including the other titular characters. Intimidated by little person actor Peter Dinklage — who benefitted careerwise from his diminutive height (Game of Thrones, Avengers: Infinity War) before disparaging midget casting post him — Snow White producers disemployed seven dwarf actors to favor a ridiculous septet of mostly minority normal-size performers.

Photos of the group of “magical beings” cavorting through the English countryside provoked international derision, including mine.

Then came the infamous interview with obnoxiously smug starlet Rachel Zegler trashing the original film and the inspirational fairy tale for their non-woke dynamic. “She’s not going to be saved by the Prince,” Zegler insisted. “And she’s not going to be dreaming about true love. She’s dreaming about becoming the leader she knows she can be.”

These remarks and dumber ones by Zegler offended generations of young girls, their mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers who loved the movie and dreamt about true love, and that one day their Prince would come, and for many of them, he did or will.

Fearing financial disaster and, worse, audience ridicule, panicked Disney operatives pulled the picture from its 2024 slot and went back to the production board for a 2025 release. For one year, nary a peep came out of Zegler other than humble high praise for the original movie. “It’s like a monumental moment in film history,” she gushed. “It was like the first feature-length cartoon movie, to the point that it won an honorary Oscar and all these amazing things that happened for that film.”

Unfortunately for all concerned, a trailer showing the readjustments on Snow White temporarily escaped the Mouse House. The good news is that there are once again dwarves. The bad news is that they’re horrible CGI figures, ominous looking and moving. But the worst news is that Zegler’s Snow White is every bit the insufferable boss girl she warned, er, bragged about in the first interview.

In both the 1937 film and the Brothers Grimm fairy tale, Snow White shows her gratitude to the dwarves for their hospitality and protection by cooking and cleaning their home. This reasonable arrangement clearly stuck in the craw of Greta Gerwig (Barbie) and the other feminist writers.

Their Snow White don’t need no protection from no patriarchal little men. So, in a total bastardization — or rather bitch-idization — of the lovely Frank Churchill-Larry Morey song for the original movie, Whistle While You Work, Snow puts her already hardworking hosts to do the housecleaning as well.

“Now you wash the dishes, and you tidy up the room,” she commands them. “You clean those cobwebs, and you use the broom.” But she rewards them by singing the famous tune with a modern slavedriver variation. Whistle while you work … And cheerfully together we can tidy up the place. So hype a merry tune. It won’t take long if there’s a song to help you set the pace. Now you sweep the floor …

Of course, in Greta World, the dwarves accept their new subservience and mistress like any heterosexual white man remaining at Disney. In the real Grimm world, they’d be kicking Snow White out under the Huntsman’s axe. And Prince Charming would just ride by rather than rescue such an ungrateful male-bashing brat. He’ll find a new Princess Charming who appreciates a dashing rich hero. (READ MORE: The Star Trek Election III: Men vs. Women)

But it won’t be in any Hollywoke movie. The whole industry is committed to going down with the Message — that anything men can do, women can do better. Last weekend, the $115-million sci-fi action flick Borderlands stunk up theaters grossing less than $14 million in two weeks. The movie stars the inescapable Cate Blanchett, now 55 years old, embarrassing herself firing two guns like Snake Plissken at bad CGI targets.

Any civilian would have known that no man or woman on planet Earth wanted to see that piece of feminist crap. Yet Lionsgate signed over the ridiculous check for it, and doubtless the sequel that will never get made.

Real men could save Hollywood from the witches destroying it. But why should they bother. They can just build a new one with good traditional stories about manly heroes and feminine women. And they’ll live happily ever after.

Where have all the cool men, hot women, and non-woke storytelling gone? My timely new political thriller novel, The Washington Trail, about two DC private eyes, a femme-fatale, and a plot to end America in a volatile election year. Available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever exciting mysteries are sold.

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