My husband and I met while training for triathlons. Our marriage is stronger for it.
Courtesy of the author
- My husband and I got married after competing in a triathlon together.
- We both played sports growing up, and the lessons we picked up from training have helped our marriage.
- We trust each other and don't waste time micromanaging.
In a fitting end to my athletic career, my husband and I got married after competing together on the college triathlon team.
Our first unofficial date was a training run around LSU's campus. We attempted conversation as we huffed our way through a grueling four miles at a seven-minute pace. Although we weren't planning to run that fast, friendly competition propelled us forward. We matched each other stride-for-stride, setting the stage for our relationship as lifelong teammates.
Thomas and I both came from sports backgrounds. He played football and ran track while I participated in soccer, track, and swimming. The lessons we gleaned from sports teams in our youth have guided our partnership since the beginning. As our family continues to grow and change, we maintain a team-oriented approach that strengthens our bond in several ways.
We continue to practice and improve
Since we're still pretty new to the parenting game, we don't have much training under our belts. Parenting often feels daunting — like my first few open-water swims as a triathlete. But hard things become easier with practice, something that my husband and I understand after years of athletics. We cheer each other on as we acquire new skills, just like we did when we were teammates.
We invest in ourselves individually so that our team can thrive
As parents and partners, we count on each other to put forth our best efforts. In order to do that, we each need time for self-care.
Rest and recovery are baked into an athlete's job description. Back when we were competing, my husband and I devoted extra time to our mental and physical well-being. This gave us the confidence and willpower to tackle any task.
While our day-to-day family life is a far cry from a triathlon meet, we acknowledge how important it is for us to refuel. This often means tag-teaming childcare duties (and sacrificing time together) so that we can each get time away from the kids.
We recognize that we have different strengths and weaknesses
Each of us contributes to our family unit in unique (but crucial) ways. Like gymnasts who specialize in different events, Thomas and I prefer certain jobs at home. He conquers the laundry while I handle the dishes. He manages the kids' morning routine, and I take charge in the evenings. It isn't a perfect system, and it's not always equal, but we evaluate and adjust the game plan as we go.
We pick up each other's slack
When one of us has an "off" day, the other can compensate. We face setbacks and seasons of struggle. Sometimes, one person shoulders the weight of the entire team.
During my second pregnancy, my husband completed most of the childcare and household duties. Conversely, when he travels for work, I fill in the gaps. We've learned how to lean on each other during times of adversity until we can find our balance again.
We trust that the other person is capable of doing their part, and we don't waste time or energy micromanaging each other
Teammates believe in each other's ability to succeed. One soccer player can't cover every position; a forward must assume that the defenders will clear the ball upfield. Similarly, although my husband may not do things exactly how I would do them (especially when it comes to parenting our kids), we share the same vision, and I know that he'll get the job done.
Our actions and decisions impact the entire team
When I want to throw in the towel, I remember that my team depends on me, and I don't want to let them down. My husband compares the evenings in our house to a 4th quarter frenzy. Exhausted from our own workdays, we attempt to feed and bathe our two kids under 2 without losing our cool. In those moments, quitting is not an option. The stakes are too high. So we grit our teeth, wipe the sweat from our brows, and push through to the final buzzer (aka, bedtime).
We continue to challenge ourselves and grow
Athletes constantly seek new ways to fine-tune their skills to avoid hitting a plateau. In the same way, my husband and I aim to better ourselves — not because we're trying to beat everyone else, but because we want to see what we can accomplish together.
We win and lose as a team
Sometimes, we fail — we fall, we drop the baton, and we get frustrated and discouraged. Instead of blaming each other or dwelling on our mistakes, we dust ourselves off and move on. Every day is another opportunity to "shoot our shot." Although we'll never earn a medal for our efforts, progressing toward our goal of a healthy relationship and family feels rewarding enough.