GREG GUTFELD: Tim Walz makes Kamala Harris sound like Winston Churchill

So, within hours after Kamala Harris made Tim Walz the VP pick, the bat signal went out from the Dems to label him as a moderate, middle-of-the-road midwesterner. The reason? To cover up the fact that this guy is bat s---- crazy. Let's run through the list. While BLM and Antifa were looting and burning down Minneapolis in the summer of 2020, what did Walz do? Well, he did call out the National Guard, eventually. When seconds count, Tim Walz acts within days. Three days, in fact. So how the hell did he alert them? Did he send an e-vite to their AOL account? Was he waiting for an RSVP? Let's ask the doofus.

TIM WALZ: Decisions were made in a situation that is what it is. And, I simply believe that we tried to do the best we can in each of those. 

That made no f------ sense. No wonder Harris picked him. He makes her sound like Winston Churchill. And you know, it's the reason why I hang around Kilmeade. So, he actually called the riots an exciting event which destigmatized criminal activity and put the rights of criminals over their prey. He abandoned every victim, be they Black, White, Asian or old, because they could not be stereotyped into a group with magical protections. So, they had no power. And so he tossed aside lawful citizens to gain favor of the lawless mob. 

FIVE CONTROVERSIES SURROUNDING VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE TIM WALZ, FROM DUI TO COVID FRAUD

He was a coward, but also a snitch. At the height of the pandemic, he set up a Covid hotline where people could fink on their neighbors for not wearing masks outdoors. Outdoors! Walz also limited indoor gatherings to ten people. He declared a statewide mask mandate and shut down restaurants, gyms and other businesses. So, when there's looting and rioting, he's hands-off, but if there's a virus that's benign to just about everyone except old people, he invades your life, turns it upside down, turns people against each other and takes away their livelihoods, which is exactly the opposite of how he portrays himself now.

TIM WALZ: In Minnesota, we respect our neighbors and their personal choices that they make. Even if we wouldn't make the same choice for ourselves. There's a golden rule: mind your own damn business.

You know, people would love to mind their own damn business, if you a--hole hadn't let rioters burn down those businesses. No more swearing. Even worse, Walz sent elderly Covid patients from hospitals back into nursing homes where he likely killed more old people than tainted pudding at a Matlock convention. So, while the rest of us had to stay away from our grandparents, or we were called murderers, Walz gave those grandparents a death sentence. He gets worse. He doubled down last year on letting docs give drugs and operate on kids confused about their gender. Signing a bill making Minnesota a sanctuary state for kids brainwashed into thinking they need a sex change. 

So, if you live in a sane state that has banned this butchery, your child could go to Minnesota to ruin his life. And legally, you can't do s--- about it. Remember the song "I Left My Heart in San Francisco"? Well, there's a new version, and it's, "I Left My Kids ----- in Saint Paul."

KAMALA HARRIS' RUNNING MATE TIM WALZ IS NOT ‘NORMAL,’ CNN CONTRIBUTOR SAYS

Only nut jobs want kids to get nut jobs. Yeah, the state can even take custody of your child. And they call this guy middle of the road? What road are you talking about? The one between Sodom and Gomorrah? Walz will let doctors cut your kid's ----- off while looters burn down your house. He's like a fat, bald, stupid Genghis Khan. Well, at least he doesn't think boys menstruate. Oh, wait. He signed a bill to put tampons in boys' bathrooms. That makes less sense than starting a fan club for Jesse Watters. Then there's his military service. Two fellow National Guardsmen have accused him of embellishing his military career and retiring from service after learning his battalion would be deployed to Iraq in 2005. 

I guess he prefers his war zones to be in Minnesota. So, the Republicans are calling this ticket the most left wing ever. How do you know that's true? Well, look at how obsessed the left is in portraying him as the opposite. Oh, he's not radical, he's rural. He's not Marxist, he's Midwestern. Which then poses the next question. Why are the positions that the left usually embrace they now abandon as they approach an election? Suddenly, being woke is as appealing as monkeypox. 

Social justice sanctuary cities, left-wing protests, they all take a back seat to the comfortable sweater of moderation. Eldridge Cleaver becomes Ward Cleaver. And that's the funniest thing of all. The people who spent the last four years hating everything about old White guys now embrace the very things they despise. Oh, look, he hunts. He owns a gun! He's a military vet! 

Well, just months ago, these were the things that would put him on a no-fly list. He's got to be a member of a White supremacist group, right? Reeking of toxic masculinity and dead moose. But now we just call him coach. And if the left has its way, the next Vice President of the United States.